NT croc hunters in world-first plan to extract crocodiles from proposed Olympic rowing course

A crack squad of Northern Territory crocodile experts is being assembled to plan an interstate raid which could save the Brisbane Olympics from international embarrassment.

A team of talented Northern Territory crocodile wranglers will travel to Rockhampton's Fitzroy River to relocated crocodiles in preparation for the Olympic rowing in 2032.

An elite team of Northern Territory crocodile hunters are developing world-first plans for a mass crocodile migration from Rockhampton’s Fitzroy River in a bid to save the nation from international embarrassment at the Brisbane 2032 Olympics.

Last week’s announcement that the croc-inhabited Central Queensland river would host rowing events at the 2032 Games were met with worldwide amazement and spawned incredulous news stories around the globe.

In response, a reptilian response team comprised of several renowned Top End croc-whisperers has assembled and is planning the largest ever interstate migration of the prehistoric monsters.

Leading the charge will be Professor Oleg Ayter, one of Australia’s pre-eminent zoologists.

“Rockhampton clearly isn’t Croc-hampton and nor should it be,” Prof Ayter said.

“Everyone knows the Northern Territory is the true home for crocodiles as they attract thousands of tourists each year and are a key part of the Top End economy.

“We see an opportunity here to rid the Fitzroy River of their croc habitat in the lead up to the Olympics and to bring them back to the Adelaide River in the Northern Territory where they can easily be integrated into the local population.

“It’s a win-win for all concerned.”

A problem crocodile has been targeted for removal from the Fitzroy River in Rockhampton.

Prof Ayter said detailed plans were already being drawn up to manufacture a “custom-built relocation model” to transport the reptilian refugees the nearly 3000km journey from Rockhampton to Darwin.

“We initially looked at redesigning a series of custom built containers on the back of road trains to transport them by road in some sort of crocodile convoy,” Prof Ayter said.

“However following recent heavy rains throughout tropical north Queensland, crocodile populations are set to explode in places like Mackay, Cairns and Townsville too so we’re now wondering if our ambitious plan can assist those cities as well.

“So we’re now looking at building a specific sea-bound vessel which can house thousands of crocodiles and can stop in at ports along the Queensland coast.

“We’ll then ferry all of the crocodiles we capture over the Cape York Peninsula and through the Gulf Carpentaria on our way to Darwin.

“It will be the greatest crocodile cruise in history.”

Prof Ayter acknowledged the plan was ambitious but stressed that with the right financial backing of state, territory and federal governments it could drive massive economic benefits.

Rockhampton residents are also tentatively supportive of the croc capture plans.

Rower Ellie Gaiter said while spotting a swimming croc while competing had often spurred her on to personal best times on the Fitzroy River, she would be more than happy if the waters were cleared.

“I accidentally hit one of them with my oars two weeks ago and I fear how the world would react if that were to happen in an Olympic final,” she said.

Originally published as NT croc hunters in world-first plan to extract crocodiles from proposed Olympic rowing course