Can We Talk: Parents urged by experts to speak openly with children about mental health

Do not be afraid to use the word ‘suicide’ when talking to your child if you suspect they are struggling with their mental health.

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Parents need to speak ­openly about suicide with their children, even if they find the subject daunting, mental health experts say.

“Parents should not be afraid to use the word ‘suicide’ or use terms like ‘thoughts of death’ or ‘being better off dead’ when talking to their child who they suspect is struggling with their mental health,” Black Dog Institute clinical psychologist Aliza Werner-Seidler said.

Ms Werner-Seidler said there was no evidence to suggest such a conversation would put the idea in their children’s heads.

“Research has shown that ­acknowledging and talking about suicide may in fact reduce, rather than increase, suicide risk,” Ms Werner-Seidler said.

Dr Aliza Werner-Seidler of the Black Dog Institute.

“Asking is much safer than not asking or not asking directly enough. They should ensure the setting is appropriate for this kind of conversation however, for example, not ask them at the dinner table with the rest of the family around and should be done gently when they are ­engaging with you.”

Headspace national adviser Simon Dodd agreed.

“Asking a young person whether they are thinking about suicide is unlikely to make the situation worse, it can help young people to manage and make sense of their feelings,” Mr Dodd said.

Mr Dodd suggested telling your child you have noticed they are struggling and ask if they have experienced suicidal thoughts.

“Use sensitivity and compassion when enquiring and asking or checking in with a young person on how they’re feeling and what’s going on for them,” he said.

“Offer avenues of support, such as talking with a trusted relative or friend, their GP or headspace.”

He also encouraged parents to be aware of behavioural changes. “This might be changes in eating, sleeping, withdrawing from things they usually liked to do,” Mr Dodd said.

WHAT TO SAY AND WHAT NOT TO SAY TO YOUR CHILDREN

HOW TO HAVE A CONVERSATION IF YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT YOUR CHILD

Don’t go it alone. Please reach out for help.

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or lifeline.org.au

Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636 or beyondblue.org.au

Beyond Blue’s coronavirus support service: 1800 512 348 or coronavirus.beyondblue.org.au

Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800 or kidshelpline.com.au

Headspace: 1800 650 890 or headspace.org.au

In an emergency call triple-0

Originally published as Can We Talk: Parents urged by experts to speak openly with children about mental health