‘Silent menace’: coercive control warning as phone tracking and passcode sharing with partner becomes normalised in Australia

More than a quarter of men want their partner to be “constantly available” to respond to calls and texts, a survey reveals, as experts warn about the “silent menace” of coercive control.

Australian men are twice as likely as women to see possible coercive control “red flags” like tracking a partner via their phone or having access to their passcodes and online accounts as being “reasonable” or “signs of care,” new research has found.

Experts are warning the normalisation of these behaviours in relationships is creating a cover for the “silent menace” that is malicious tech-based control, a form of domestic violence and “known precursor” for intimate partner homicide.

eSafety Commissioner Julie Inman Grant says coercive control via tech is a ‘known precursor’ to intimate partner homicide. Picture: NewsWire / Martin Ollman

About a quarter of Australians believe it is okay to access a partner’s passcodes and one in ten consider tracking their location reasonable, with men far more likely to view tech-based monitoring as acceptable, according to a survey of 2046 Australian adults conducted by the Social Research Centre released on Monday.

About 20.1 per cent of men surveyed agreed constantly texting a partner to ask what they were doing was a “sign of care” compared to only 10.4 per cent of women, while 26.3 per cent of men wanted their partner to be “constantly available” to respond to calls and texts – more than twice the number of women who agreed.

eSafety Commissioner Julie Inman Grant told News Corp for “too long” the gravity of technology-facilitated gender based violence had been downplayed or ignored.

A quarter of Australians say having access to a partner’s passcode is reasonable.

“This form of violence acts as a ‘silent menace’ for women and their children,” she said.

“While there may be no visible bruises, it can leave deep psychological trauma and scars.”

Ms Inman Grant said the “relationship norms” of tracking and checking on a partner via access to their device was happening against the backdrop of a “worrying” expansion of incel groups and the development of increasingly “potent” invasive technologies.

“Addressing gender-based violence requires us to better support boys and young men and to teach them to use technology as a tool of discourse, rather than as a weapon of coercion and control,” she said.

“We also need to provide young men with a less toxic online environment and a greater diversity of positive online role models.”

Coercive control ad campaign. Picture: Supplied

Ms Inman Grant said parents were the best teachers of what their child should or should not tolerate and expect in a relationship.

“I urge parents to have regular conversations about boundaries and respect with their children, and actively demonstrate how consent and respect is applied to our everyday discussions and actions,” she said.

Ms Inman Grant said at it’s “most insidious,” tech-based coercive control can lead the victim to question their own version of reality.

“Online gaslighting is real,” she said.

“A determined perpetrator can remotely control the lighting, the thermostat or the blinds.

Ms Inman Grant said perpetrators are “master manipulators” who “know how to menace without leaving visible tracks”.

“This means when a woman seeks help from authorities, she appears to have little tangible evidence of abuse,” she said.

1800 RESPECT: 1800 737 732

Mens Helpline: 1300 78 99 78

Originally published as ‘Silent menace’: coercive control warning as phone tracking and passcode sharing with partner becomes normalised in Australia