'I'd do anything for one more hug': Best friend honours teen lost to bullies on eve of social media ban
Three years after losing her best friend to suicide from social media bullying, Teagan McFarlane says Australia's under-16 ban means "Tilly wins" at last.
If it wasn’t for social media, Teagan McFarlane would still have her best friend to be the maid of honour at her wedding, the godmother to her son, the sounding board any teenager craves.
But three years ago, her ‘Tilly Bug’, Matilda Rosewarne took her own life after suffering at the hands of Bathurst schoolyard bullies, their relentless taunts, threats and harrowing actions – culminating in the cruel spread of a fake sexual image – saw the 15-year-old end her life on February 16, 2022.
She couldn’t take it anymore. The bullies had won. But on Wednesday, when social media is outlawed for Australians under the age of 16 – Tilly wins. Teagan wins. Tilly’s mum Emma Mason – who took the Let Them Be Kids fight to the United Nations, and the world – wins.
And if you ask Teagan, it’s not a day too soon.
“I jumped into a completely different world the day that it all happened,” Teagan says of Tilly’s death. “Everything changed.
“My whole world changed completely. When it first happened, I was distraught.
“I genuinely didn’t know how to continue on – and now, as I got a little bit older and let it sink in a little bit, I wanted to do things for Tilly.
“I wanted to keep pushing forward. I wanted to keep living on.
“I wanted to brighten the world because she was such a bright light in my life.”
She used to be timid and shy – and Teagan admits she’s scared to make new friends, fuelled by the fact she’s scared to lose them, like she did Tilly.
But the social media laws make sure Tilly’s legacy of a safer world lives on – and of that, she’s so proud it hurts.
“And Tilly would be so proud,” Teagan says with a smile.
“The world is getting a little bit safer every time we keep pushing for these things.
“And I feel like she would be so happy because she knew how bad social media was and what it does and how badly it can affect people.
“And to be able to protect our younger generations – finally – it’s finally happening.”
Teagan, 22, has a one-year-old son – and says the battle to stop young people from accessing social media will change things for him too.
“I was so, so afraid for my son,” she admits.
“Being a new mum, I knew what social media can do, and I knew how horrible it can be – it can just be used as a weapon, especially when they hide behind screens.
“They’re young kids – they don’t have any thought or repercussions on what this can actually do to somebody – they just do it.
“And when they’re behind a screen, there aren’t any repercussions because they can make fake names, fake everything, and it just happens and nobody knows who the real person is, so no one gets in trouble for it.
“And now I don’t have to worry about my son.
“Early on, not having to worry about getting bullied all over social media, the expectations social media puts on young kids as well – I feel like I can finally breathe a little bit more and let my son be a child and have fun and go outside and not have to worry about likes, if this person is talking about me or not, whether or not my video got a good amount of views or not, and all of those things.
“And I know the block button’s there, but as a kid, you don’t know how to use that button or you don’t understand as well as someone a little bit older does.”
Teagan’s water broke on Tilly’s 18th birthday. That was her being there for the moment she wouldn’t have missed, laughs Teagan.
“She was there for me the whole time I was in labour – I could feel her,” she muses.
“And I knew that she and my son had met and that we had conversations – I go ‘have you met Aunty Tilly’ and he smiles and laughs at me.
“She’s my guardian angel.”
Teagan’s relationship with social media is complicated. Living in Lightning Ridge, on the border of Queensland and NSW, she’s away from family and isolated in the rural town.
“But ever since it happened, I have turned away from social media,” she explains.
“I don’t use Instagram anymore, I barely use Snapchat and I mainly use TikTok to watch videos – but that’s a scary place as well.
“What happened to Tilly turned me against social media, but at the same time, I can’t completely cut it out of my life because I live so far away from my family.
“And 100 per cent I agree that the younger generation shouldn’t be exposed to it, shouldn’t be allowed it, shouldn’t have the access to it, because of so much damage that it does, because I did experience bullying as well.
“And then because of what happened to Tilly, it made me angry. So angry.
“And I’m still angry – at people, and what happened – but I’m not angry with Tilly – I just love Tilly with all my heart and soul.
“I want the best for her and I know she’s dancing her little heart out.”
Teagan met Tilly while they were both at hospital, and they clicked instantly. They bonded over dance, and would escape the world by dancing in the corridors, ‘lighting up the world’ as Tilly was so famous for doing.
They never lived in the same place, but would talk for hours on FaceTime. They didn’t even have to talk – as the best of friends don’t. Presence – whether in silence or not – was all they needed.
“She would talk to me a little bit about what was happening, but not a lot,” Teagan says.
“I was like ‘I’m here for you. If you need to talk, we can just talk. If you don’t want to talk and you just want to sit here on FaceTime and we colour in together, we can do that too – whenever you feel’.
“That’s how we were. We were there. I was there. She was there.
“I remember the last time I saw her physically – we had to say goodbye for a little while, and we knew we weren’t going to be seeing each other, so that was really, really hard, especially now, knowing that was the last hug, my last time being around her.
“I’d do anything for one more hug. Absolutely anything. Even just to hear her say my name one more time.
“I still message her all the time. And I know she gets them,” she says with a smile.
“When I first moved into this house, I always had ladybugs in my house – ladybugs everywhere, and ladybugs would always be in my son’s room and I’m like, ‘is this a good enough room for him?’” she laughs. “I know she’s with me.”
When she needs to share big moments, she’ll go to Tilly’s mum Emma – her ‘Wonder Woman’ who is helping her daughter change the world.
“Social media takes up so much time and energy – I want to say to kids, what are you missing out on?” she says defiantly.
“Do you. Be you. What else excites you? What else brings you love and joy? And if, say, for me, it was dance – so go to more dance classes – go out and have more fun and find what you love and who you are without social media telling you who you are, what you’re supposed to be, what size you’re supposed to be – go find yourself and your love for the world and what you really enjoy.
“Because social media is telling you what to be. It’s time for you to start being you.”
“When I am in those happy moments in my life, I think ‘Tilly would have loved this’, or ‘Tilly would have been an absolutely amazing mum’.
“And when it hits her milestones as well, it hurts a lot – because it’s like, she would have been driving, she would have been 18, we should have been doing all of that stuff together.
“But at the same time, when I do these things, I’m doing it for her.
“We’re doing it together.”
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Originally published as 'I'd do anything for one more hug': Best friend honours teen lost to bullies on eve of social media ban
