My secret ticket to skip jump the queue: Phil Brown

Hate waiting in queues? Our arts editor Phil Brown found the secret to skipping them.

If there’s one thing I hate it’s queuing.

I will do anything to avoid a queue but if I have to queue at all I’d rather be in the near queue than the far queue. Sorry, that’s a very old joke.

We went to GOMA to see the European Masterpieces show a few weeks ago and because I was there in my professional capacity we didn’t have to queue at all.

We were met at the door and ushered straight through much to the disgust of the people in the line who glared at us. It was all I could do not to turn around and say ... “Suckers!”

That wouldn’t have bean very nice though, would it?

Queues at the Gallery of Modern Art South Brisbane for the last day of European Masterpieces from The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York. Picture: Richard Walker

Being in the media does tend to give one entree and I get avoid queues which is a bonus. Back in the old days journos wore hats with little cards that said “PRESS” stuck in the brim.

There’s a classic Three Stooges episode where they pose as journos to get into a boxing match. When they turn up Moe and Larry’s cards both say “PRESS” but Curly’s says “PULL”. Funny, right? God I miss The Three Stooges.

I know sometimes you have to queue and I would if it was for something really important. I’d queue to see a James Bond film, I would queue for Chinese barbecued pork, I have happily queued for The Peak Tram in Hong Kong and I would queue for The Met in New York I guess.

When we were in Paris in 2017 we were doing touristy things and there were often long queues when we arrived places, such as at Napoleon’s Tomb and The Louvre. But I had been given this magic all areas kind of pass by the tourism folks beforehand.

Tourists queue prior to entering the Louvre museum in Paris. Picture: Alain Jocard

When we got to Les Invalides where Napoleon rests in peace there was quite a queue.

I decided to see if the card worked so I went forward out of the queue and the gentleman at the door waved me away. “Non, monsieur, you have to wait,” he said.

“What about this?” I said flashing my pass.

“Oh, pardon monsieur,” he said, his eyes brightening.

He waved me, my wife and son through.

“It bloody works,” I said, holding the card up. “This is gold!”

I flashed it left right and crooked all over the City of Light and didn’t have to queue once, near or far.

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Originally published as My secret ticket to skip jump the queue: Phil Brown