Ian Aranyosi shares immense grief after car collision claimed life of wife Heather; lives lost on Geelong roads in 2023 revealed

A Bannockburn grandfather has shared the heartbreak of his wife’s death after a car collision, as the number of lives lost on our roads last year is revealed.

Ian Aranyosi with a photo of his wife Heather who died after a head-on collision in 2019 on the Hamilton Hwy. Picture: Brad Fleet

On Ian Aranyosi’s 59th birthday, his wife Heather died.

Mrs Aranyosi, 56, was travelling home to Bannockburn from a day out with her nine-month old grandson Hamish and youngest daughter Cass McColl in May 2019 when tragedy struck.

Her car, travelling along the Hamilton Highway, collided with another vehicle.

It’s occupants — a 73-year-old couple from NSW — died instantly.

Hamish, miraculously, was unharmed while Mrs McColl was seriously injured and needed surgery.

But Mrs Aranyosi’s injuries were even more severe and she was flown to Melbourne in a critical condition.

On the day of the crash, Mr Aranyosi was waiting for his wife to arrive back and join him for babysitting duties that evening.

Ian says he was “gutted” by the loss of Heather, who died two days after the crash. Picture: Brad Fleet

When his eldest daughter told him of the horrific crash, his life was changed in an instant.

Mr Aranyosi got in his car and drove to the Royal Melbourne Hospital to visit his wife.

There, doctors told Mr Aranyosi his wife was critically injured and the outlook was not good.

“I said ‘does that mean she’ll be here for a couple of weeks and then come home?’,” Mr Aranyosi said.

“And they just said ‘no, I’m sorry, I don’t think she’ll be coming home at all’.”

Mr Aranyosi said he remembered being taken into Mrs Aranyosi’s room where he was confronted by sight of his wife of 36 years hooked up to life support.

After staying with her briefly, he travelled to another hospital to visit his daughter.

Mrs McColl had a broken spine in three places, was in “severe pain” but survived.

Mrs Aranyosi was not so lucky. The swelling in her brain became too much and two days later, on her husband’s birthday, she died surrounded by those closest to her.

“I turned 59 the day Heather died, 59 the day the love of my life was taken from me,” Mr Aranyosi said.

In the months that followed, Mr Aranyosi had to push himself to confront activities that reminded him of his beloved wife.

He said losing his wife, his “whole world”, made him feel “absolutely gutted”.

The pair would do almost everything together, and had been planning their retirement, including travels in a new caravan, and quality time with their four children and nine grandchildren.

Instead, Mr Aranyosi said going back their favourite cafe to grab a coffee was the “hardest thing” he had to do.

“But I think if I hadn’t done it, and walked out, it would’ve been twice as hard the next time,” he says.

“If I got invited to a party, (and) I didn’t want to go, I thought ‘no, I’ve got to go – Heather wouldn’t want me sitting at home’.

“I needed to get over those first hurdles.”

Mr Aranyosi said one of those hurdles was also continuing to keep his wife’s memory alive with their family.

He now volunteers with road incident support and education organisation Amber Community – formerly Road Trauma Support Services Victoria – which offered him support after Mrs Aranyosi’s death.

Mr Aranyosi speaks to rooms of people who have offended on the road.

He said it took him a long time to get to the point of sharing his story, but said presentations were now therapeutic for him.

Having the chance to change the mindsets of people who faced court over dangerous driving offences was very important to him, he said.

“It’s not a right, it’s a privilege to drive a car,” he says.

“You’re driving a lethal weapon – don’t take that for granted.”

Every life lost on Geelong’s roads in 2023

Last year 16 people died on roads across the Geelong, region, including in Greater Geelong (11), Surf Coast Shire (2), and Golden Plains Shire (3).

According to the Transport Accident Commission data, this was two down from the 2022 road toll of 18.

Ambulance Victoria Barwon South West clinical operations regional director Jerome Peyton said paramedics regularly saw the devastating results of road trauma.

“These incidents have a major impact on families, the community and the paramedics and first responders who attend these cases,” he said.

Mr Peyton said fatigue was a major contributor to crashes, urging people to plan regular breaks, be aware of side effects of any medications, and take a 15-minute power nap at the first signs of fatigue.

Senior Sergeant Damon Patralakis said in about 50 per cent of fatal collisions, the cause was preventable.

Senior Sergeant Damon Patralakis from Geelong Highway Patrol says fatal scenes can be very confronting for anyone who’s on the scene. Picture: Brad Fleet

He said fatal collision scenes were incredibly confronting for officers, with internal and external supports necessary for them to continue with the job.

Sergeant Patralakis said over the Christmas and New Year period, a statewide police operation detected 27 drunk drivers, 28 drug drivers, and 425 speeding drivers in Geelong and the Surf Coast alone.

In 2022, there were 30 drunk drivers, eight drug drivers, and 242 speeding drivers detected.

Sergeant Patralakis said this behaviour was unacceptable, with police adopting a zero tolerance for it.

“The messaging obviously isn’t getting through, particularly around impaired drivers,” he said.

“Road safety is everyone’s responsibility.

“That’s the message we want to get out – it’s not you, until it is you.”

Amber Community education services manager Chris Harrison said many people seemed to think “it’s not going to happen to me”.

But, Ms Harrison said all drivers and road users were at risk.

“If we choose to speed, not drive to the conditions, tailgate, use mobile phones, (are) tired et cetera, then we are increasing the likelihood of being involved in a crash,” she said.

“These crashes are preventable and this means people dying on our roads is preventable.

“The impact ripples across communities – families’ lives are up-ended and never the same again.”

Ms Harrison urged those impacted by road trauma to reach out to family, friends or professionals for support.

“It’s important to know that people can be affected whether directly or indirectly involved in the incident and this is quite an individual response and can be very different for everyone,” she said.

“We often lose sight of what happens after the scene of a crash – the impacts of road trauma on the injured person, the emergency responders around them, the witnesses, and those that aren’t there – the families, workplaces, and communities they return home to or not.”

For Mr Aranyosi, his grief is still “immense”.

“You can never move on, but you can move forward,” he said.

Amber Community offers free information and counselling to people impacted by a road incident. Contact 1300 367 797 or www.ambercommunity.org.au

Originally published as Ian Aranyosi shares immense grief after car collision claimed life of wife Heather; lives lost on Geelong roads in 2023 revealed