Family’s memories of life on the road a precious gift in time of tragedy
In 2021, David and Joanne Riley took their kids out of school and off on a two-year caravan trip across Australia to create treasured memories - which have become all the more poignant after the death of their daughter.
The only thing we never budget properly for in this life is time.
We usually always want more of it. And, for me, it has always been about making the most of the time we have and that meant by making memories with it. Pulling your kids out of school, pressing pause on work for a couple of years and taking off on a lap around Australia in a caravan isn’t something everyone wants or is able to do. But for me and my family, it was the most wonderful adventure and gave us all memories to last a lifetime.
When we started, our reasoning for taking the trip began with the simple realisation that our three kids were heading into their teenage years and the window of time where they still wanted to hang out with us was closing. I didn’t want to reach the later years and think we should have done it.
I wanted the memories, the adventure, the togetherness, before it slipped away.
The first step was to convince my wife Joanne it was a good idea and thus I adopted an incessant nagging strategy. The “clincher” for Joanne to finally agree was the pandemic and the reality that circumstances can change dramatically. We figured, why not live life a little more adventurously?
The logistics to arrange before we started were extensive. We needed to buy an off-road caravan suitable for a family of five, upgrade our tow vehicle, rent out our home, and tell my boss I wouldn’t be around for a year … or maybe two.
Sometimes the hardest thing about having an adventure in life is getting to the starting line, and so it proved with us. There were regular obstacles that had me questioning if we were doing the right thing, yet somehow, I knew everything would work out in the end.
Leaving our home in southern Queensland at the start of 2021, we headed south, then west with no itinerary or accommodation booked. Our fully independent caravan meant we had lots of options for places to sleep other than regular holiday parks.
Different people travel differently, but I wanted this experience to show our kids that life sometimes has so much more to give us than anything we could plan ourselves. We each adjusted to life on the road in our own time. I settled in within days; my wife took a couple of weeks. One of the kids held out for two months, grumbling, “You and Mum have taken me away from my friends!” Then one evening, after a perfect day of swimming, she turned to me and said, “Dad, I’m so glad you made us come.” That was the moment I knew our adventure as an entire family had just begun.
A question we were often asked on the road was, “How are you schooling your kids?” Our eldest daughter Jessica was in year 8 when we started travelling, Kea year 6 and Ted in year 3.
At first, we enrolled our children in an online school, but quickly realised we needed less structure. Their education ended up being a maths workbook, reading, and journaling at the end of each day. Everything else was “natural schooling” under vast Australian skies.
There were long bush walks looking at fascinating plants, interesting rock formations and at times some incredible wildlife. We explored hidden swimming holes and visited quirky, small-town museums (my kids still talk about the time I took them somewhere displaying the history of barbed wire fences!).
And now, as we look back at our two years of travel together through Australia, our family has incredible memories we still talk about.
Many of our conversations begin with: “Remember when …?” Remember when we followed the Murray River from close to its source to where it gushes out into the Southern Ocean? Remember when we mined for opals in Coober Pedy, when we took three days to cross the Nullarbor Plain, and the kids would yell out: “This is so Nullarboring!”
Remember when we camped on the beach for a month beside the Ningaloo Reef in Western Australia, and snorkelled daily with large turtles, colourful coral, and amazing marine life?
Remember when we jumped off those tall rocks into a deep swimming hole, with mum standing petrified on the bank and unable to watch, or when dad got the LandCruiser stuck up on a high ridge after someone had warned him not to drive up there?
Remember when we learnt to sail a yacht around the Whitsunday Islands and when we sat around those outback campfires at night and looked up at a billion stars? My own favourite memories were of bedtimes, when we would chat under the stars about our plans for the following day.
Every night I would have the same thought – that my life’s priorities were all within a five-metre radius of where I was sleeping.
It was during our travels I came across the story of the first car to circle Australia in 1925. I was surprised a book had never been written on this amazing adventure. So, with the family’s permission, I researched and wrote a draft of the origin story of Australia’s now famous big lap road trip. This year my first book, Bubsie and the Boys was published.
It’s been three years since we finished our road travels together and reintroduced ourselves back into regular life. Our eldest daughter Jessica enjoyed her time away so much she planned to travel with friends around Australia as soon as she finished year 12 at the end of this year. None of that will ever eventuate however.
Tragically, earlier this year Jess, at just 17, became unwell during her first week of year 12. She was diagnosed with an aggressive brain cancer and died three months later.
Every day, our family misses Jess’s presence in our home and we feel her loss deeply. In another cruel twist of fate, during Jess’s illness we discovered she and I share a very rare syndrome where our genetics can’t suppress cancerous growth like most other people. I was told it was probably only a matter of time before I would face my own battle.
In the last week of August, I was given a diagnosis of cancer that has metastasised throughout my body. I am currently undergoing intense treatment and feel fortunate to have a knowledgeable medical team supporting us.
And while I hope and pray for the best outcome, I am also preparing for the fact this illness may be where this life ends for me. And I am at peace with all of this. My faith is strong. I’ve lived a full life. I feel I have been able to fit in a couple of lifetimes during my years.
After everything I’ve been through, I truly believe life should be less about having “a trip of a lifetime” and more about having “a lifetime of trips”. And of course, spending the time making memories with those we love. Not only do I have no regrets about our family adventures, I have more memories than there are bright stars in a night-time outback sky.
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Originally published as Family’s memories of life on the road a precious gift in time of tragedy
