Ben O’Connor’s childhood friend Thomas McRoberts’ advice to others after shock loss
The childhood friend of a much-loved Cairns fighter has delivered a strong message to others following his mate’s tragic death.
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The death of Ben O’Connor on January 1 was met by shock from the Cairns community, not least from his childhood friend Thomas McRoberts.
Mr McRoberts described his best mate and role model as someone who only ever wanted the best for everyone else.
He said the news of his death by suicide was “blindsiding”, and that it was important people speak out when they need help and to check in on their friends.
“There’s nothing in life too big to stop someone from reaching out. There’s always a way to see the light,” Mr McRoberts said.
“Mates will always be there for mates, it doesn’t matter what it is. It doesn’t matter if you rock up on your mate’s doorstep in the early hours of the morning.
“It’s not weird to speak up. You’re not going to be judged.”
Mr McRoberts said he and many others were devastated when they learnt of the death of their friend, an impressive and accomplished Muay Thai fighter and kind-hearted human who “had a massive impact on everyone’s lives”.
“We grew up in the same street. He was like an older brother to me,” he said.
“He was an amazing freestyle BMX rider. We could sit there all day watching him do his tricks. He feared nothing; he was incredible.
“He would always encourage the rest of us, even as a young lad. He would just tell you how amazing you are, tell you not to be scared when going over a BMX jump. He’d say: ‘you’re a strong person, you can do this, just follow me’. That’s what he was, a leader in life, and he kept all his mates safe.
“He had a beautiful smile that lit up a room … it will replay in my head for the rest of my life.”
Mr McRoberts trained at Manunda martial arts facility DF Gym with Mr O’Connor. He said the gym’s staff and members were an example of a positive community everybody should aim to surround themselves with.
The strength of support for one another within the gym’s community was evidenced by the volume and depth of tributes its members offered to Mr O’Connor’s memory.
Their tone speaks of Mr O’Connor as if he were an angelic presence walking among mortals.
Sonya McRoberts said: “Certain people just cast sunshine when they walk into a room. Ben, you most certainly were one of those people … remembering you as a tough little four-year-old walking into Whitfield kindy and growing into a kind, gentle and thoughtful soul”.
Daniel McDonnell said: “From moving to Cairns 13 years ago, this selfless man was one of my first mates … I genuinely cannot believe how much this man put people before him”.
Marc McDonnell said: “Ben helped me up when I was down, gave me more than I ever asked … did this without hesitation, never expected anything in return, and always with a smile on his face.”
Luca Lanigan said: “Ben was exceptionally kind, friendly, funny and brave. He truly embodied what it meant to be a friend and a good man”.
Tristan Picton said: “Words can’t describe how beautiful and caring your heart was. Neither can they describe the love we all have for you”.
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