Backroom Baz: Can ScoMo phone home?
Are foreign embassies using jammers to interfere with mobile phone coverage in Parliament? Or is the Telstra Tower just not up to scratch? Backroom Baz investigates Canberra’s black spot.
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Baz’s spies in Canberra reckon there are a few certainties about life in Parliament House.
Peter Dutton will attack the CFMEU, gallery veteran Michelle Grattan will enjoy a sandwich at Aussies, and Bob Katter will say something no one understands.
Oh, and you can’t turn a corner without your phone losing reception.
The nation’s centre of power is also one of its most enduring black spots — even though the Telstra Tower is almost in spitting distance of Capital Hill.
Labor’s Kimberley Kitching was on the case in Senate estimates hearings last week to find out when the reception saga would be resolved.
It turns out plans for a new secure network — future-proofed to allow 5G access — have been delayed yet again to October next year, or by Halloween as Kitching suggested.
Barely able to believe the constant delays, Kitching was moved to raise a fascinating conspiracy theory — that connectivity was actually so bad because foreign embassies were using jammers to interfere with those in Parliament.
Whatever the truth may be, MPs, staffers and reporters alike will remain cut off from life outside the bubble for a long time to come.
GRAB POPCORN FOR UNION FIREWORKS
Who says banking is boring?
Take a peek inside the Finance Sector Union and you’ll find a world of excitement. Leaked minutes of an FSU meeting show a tinderbox has been ignited.
And the FSU’s local executive secretary in Victoria and Tasmania, David Scanlon, appears to be the spark — with all other members of the executive voting in favour of a no-confidence motion directed at him.
They say the embattled union boss failed to do enough to protect the jobs of Bank of Melbourne employees who were subject to branch closures, among other things.
Scanlon said he did his best and out of a handful of members affected, one was actually looking forward to redundancy. Baz isn’t sure that’s a good defence to use.
And it didn’t go down well, with everyone attacking him for not having “delivered on the fundamental requirements of the role” since being elected in August last year.
Will Scanlon read the mood in the room and walk the plank, or cling to the Socialist Left liferaft bobbing along outside the FSU executive?
Baz has the popcorn out for the next exciting instalment.
HULLSY v JEFF
Baz has been getting into the podcasts lately, and is enjoying listening to Jeff Kennett and Steve Bracks on Face Off.
It seems that a lot of Labor folk have been reliving their past glories during the numerous 20th anniversary events, including one of Bracksy’s old allies, Rob Hulls.
Baz hears that Hullsy had everyone in stitches at a Class of ‘99 reunion, describing his first confrontation with Jeff at state parliament after the improbable victory. He told of approaching the doors at the same time as Kennett, like two characters in an old Western movie.
Struggling to think of what to say, Hullsy stuck to rubbing Jeff’s nose in it by telling the defeated Liberal premier how great it felt to finally be in government.
Apparently, as Jeff walked off, Hullsy called out to him in a more serious tone, “Wait!” As Kennett turned to him again, Hullsy said something along the lines of: “It’s really, REALLY great to be in government!”
POTHOLES ON THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD
Australian election strategist Sir Lynton Crosby has built a formidable reputation as the “Wizard of Oz” for his work on Tory campaigns in the United Kingdom.
And with the rise of Boris Johnson, Crosby has been once again at the centre of power, having previously helped the eccentric conservative win two mayoral elections in London.
But Baz’s spies in the motherland report rumours are bubbling to the surface that Crosby may be on the outer if and when BoJo calls a general election.
He had been central to Johnson’s effort to claim Theresa May’s job, two years after guiding her disastrous 2017 election campaign.
Since then, negative reports about Crosby’s position have found their way into the UK tabloids, as Brexit mastermind Dominic Cummings asserts his role at Number 10. The Daily Mail was the latest to suggest Crosby would not play “a leading role” in the coming campaign.
For what it’s worth, Baz reckons Johnson could use all the help he can get — it will take brains and heart for him to win outright.
But as the Scarecrow once said: “Some people without brains do an awful lot of talking, don’t they?”
TASTE OF FREEDOM
Former boss of the Liberal Party’s Victorian and Tasmanian divisions Damien Mantach is enjoying freedom after being released from the clink.
The former state director, who was sentenced to five years in 2015 after he stole $1.55 million from the party, was enjoying a feed at Emporium’s food court in Melbourne’s CBD last weekend — no doubt enjoying better grub than that on offer at the Marngoneet Correctional Centre.
MORE BACKROOM BAZ
MP GIVEN CREDIT WHERE CREDIT ISN’T DUE
DUMPED LIBERAL CANDIDATE UNLOADS IN 1740-WORD RANT
THE LATEST LEAK IS CAUSING A STINK
OVERHEARD BY BAZ
“I’m excited about this enormous black thing that I’ve got in front of me … We might have to cut that now that I recognise what I said.” Christopher Pyne gets used to the microphone for his new podcast.
GUESS WHO
Which foreign dignitary was spotted making the most of Melbourne’s unseasonably tropical weather with a riverside cocktail last week?
Got any political scuttlebutt for Baz?