Angela Mollard: Before it’s ‘hooray Harry’, King must build a bridge
Forget about finessing royal funeral plans — King Charles cannot and should not wait until his death to build a bridge to his youngest son, writes Angela Mollard.
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They could be named after hills. Or rivers. Or towns.
But no, the royal family’s funeral plans are always named after bridges. Operation London Bridge is the well-known codename for the King’s funeral while Operation Menai Bridge is the framework to be followed should, heaven forbid, Prince William die prematurely.
As news filters from London that the King’s funeral plans have been finessed and Prince Harry and his wife Meghan will play a key role in the ceremonial events, the word “bridge” suddenly becomes hugely symbolic.
Because whatever you think of Montecito’s most famous couple, King Charles cannot and should not wait until his death to build a bridge to his youngest son.
And yet that prospect has been starkly illuminated with the UK’s The Telegraph reporting that the funeral of the 76-year-old King, who has cancer, will see the Duke of Sussex walking side-by-side with his brother, by then the new King, at the procession through London.
While there’s no suggestions the monarch’s death is imminent, the funeral plans reportedly state that Harry and Meghan will be invited to take part in the family vigil during the lying in state at Westminster Hall, and that Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet will attend the funeral service at Westminster Abbey.
It’s a scene too sad to contemplate. Because however hurtful and disrespectful Harry might have been, the pair failing to reconcile before the King’s death will cement this awful chapter in royal history forevermore.
Yes, they’re the monarchy and that must be upheld, but they’re also a family. A flawed, damaged, reactive set of humans who are as obstinate and vulnerable as the rest of us.
Which is why I believe the King needs to extend an olive branch to his youngest son. He needs to meet with him privately and draw a line under the ugliness of the past decade.
We have passed the time for apologies. In an ideal world they’d be stepping stones to a truce, particularly for the intractable Prince William, who remains furious at his brother’s actions and the very personal revelations in his memoir Spare.
But sometimes it’s not about who’s right or what’s fair. It’s about love.
The King needs to reach out to his son because parenting is an act of unconditional love. We think love is a declarative concept etched in stone but it’s nothing like that. It’s fluid and elastic, a deliberate leaning towards understanding and patience and a quiet persistent choosing, in spite of the hurts, to behold and uphold.
Harry’s behaviour and his betrayal of the royal family has been monstrous. His criticism of his stepmother, his brother and sister-in-law has been particularly grim. But we never know how long we have to make amends. We only ever have now.
The King may wear the crown but he needs to channel the kindness and grace that will characterise his reign, however short, to his son. He needs to do this for Harry but also to model to William that forgiveness is the soft architecture that allows us to rebuild when harsh words and human failing have cracked the foundations.
What if one of the Wales children goes off the rails or brings the family into disrepute? William will need to show forgiveness because, without it, we become custodians of old grievances instead of participants in each other’s growth.
Repairing his relationship with Harry would not only project unconditional love, it would be an act of reverence toward the late Princess Diana and their shared duty as parents. She is not here to facilitate amends but she wanted her boys to grow up in a family where love triumphed over protocol. She took them to meet the homeless and the sick so that they grow up empathetic and tolerant. For the King to mend this rift would be to walk in step with her enduring wish.
Diana’s death and the Queen’s more recent passing remind us that life’s most significant relationships can be severed with little warning.
Of course, the terrain is complicated. Harry, eternally damaged and reactive, as recently as last month suggested that if anything untoward happened to his family because security had been denied, blood would be on the hands of the palace. He said “some want history to repeat itself”, a clear reference to his mother’s death. He also suggested that the King might not have long to live.
But royals have always gone rogue and they will continue to do so as long as the monarchy survives. And yet the public appetite for human, relatable royals has never been stronger.
Prince William has said he intends to run a small “r” royal family. With that in mind, a current King who demonstrates that reconciliation is not capitulation but courage is a figurehead for such an approach.
The revelations that Operation London Bridge is being finessed just three years after Queen Elizabeth’s death reminds us that time sets its own agenda. Bridges are not built because the rivers below are calm; they are built because the crossing matters.
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Originally published as Angela Mollard: Before it’s ‘hooray Harry’, King must build a bridge
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