World's craziest Christmas celebrations

Christmas is the most wonderful time of year, but in some countries festivities delight just because they’re so bizarre.

The first Christmas I spent away from home was in Goa, where the holy day dawned unforgettably with an upset stomach and a mad dash for the loo.

The culprit was probably some street food I’d snacked on the night before among the well-dressed revellers, nativity scenes and fairy-lit festivities of midnight mass at Goa’s World Heritage-listed churches.

Dodgy bellies aside, Christmas Eve is a very special occasion in India’s former Portuguese enclave. Full of life and colour, it’s a time of celebration, connection and the sharing of sweets and treats. Outsiders are soon swept up in the good vibes. Even though I was far from home I felt the holiday cheer as keenly as if I’d been with family.

Despite the exotic setting – and leaving aside the occasional off-key carolling – Goa delivered pretty much everything I’d come to expect from Christmas. But, with age and experience, I’ve realised not everyone observes the birth of Christ the same way. Which is fine by me. The more bizarre the ritual, the better.

In Barcelona I was delighted to find nativity scenes routinely feature a peasant with his pants down, doing his business among the angels. The Caganer, or “The Sh--ter”, is said to bring good luck and joy, which sounds about right because I couldn’t stop laughing the first time I saw him squatting by a manger. He’s such a staple of Catalán celebrations that Christmas markets do a brisk trade in pooping figurines.

In December, the Austrian city of Salzburg is icing-sugar pretty under a blanket of snow. But the fairytale scene was soon shattered for me when a hideous, demon-faced creature ran through the cobbled streets threatening to beat children.

In December, the Austrian city of Salzburg is icing-sugar pretty under a blanket of snow. Picture: iStock.

This is the Krampus, a grim character from heathen times that looks like a deranged stag and carries a birch rod that it wields with menace. Krampus is usually found in the company of Santa, who rewards good children while Krampus punishes the bad. There’s also a firm custom of exchanging Krampus cards, which are like Christmas cards but way more disturbing.

In a similar vein, Iceland is terrorised by the Yule Lads – rampaging hooligans who steal milk, lick bowls and spoons, and slam doors in the days leading up to Christmas. Their mother, an ogress called Gryla, likes boiling bad children in a cauldron. Fortunately for youngsters the Yule Lads are also in the habit of leaving gifts in kids’ shoes. Or a rotten potato if someone’s been naughty.

Japan often raises eyebrows in the west for its relatively quirky customs but the country’s never more relatable than at Christmas time. Despite being Buddhist, Japanese people honour the holiest day on the Western calendar with a Kentucky Fried Chicken family bucket, the sacred dish of the working class.

There hasn’t been much reason to party in Venezuela in recent years but, come Christmas, the locals still like to get their skates on. Roller-skating to early-morning mass in the days before December 25 is such a phenomenon that roads are often blocked off for the holy-rolling faithful. The idea is to skate all night at park- and block-parties then roll into church in time for the rooster’s mass, or Misa de Gallo, at sunrise.

This is the Krampus, a grim character from heathen times that looks like a deranged stag and carries a birch rod that it wields with menace.

From roosters in Venezuela to radishes in Mexico – specifically the southern state of Oaxaca where, on December 23, stallholders at Oaxaca City’s central market display elaborate carvings made from edible vegetables. Known as the Night of the Radishes or Noche de Rábanos, displays are so ambitious that some of the hundred or so contestants conjure entire nativity scenes and portraits of patron saints from mustard roots.

For a landlocked country, Christmas in the Czech Republic is decidedly fishy. The typical yuletide dinner involves fried river carp and potato salad; some households buy fish live and keep them in the bathtub until the big day. The superstitious even put dried scales in their wallets for prosperity.

And lastly to Guatemala, where locals prepare for the big day by giving their houses a spring (actually winter) clean, gathering up piles of old rubbish and tat, crowning them with an effigy of the devil, and then setting fire to the whole hodgepodge. 

Afterwards families eat buñuelo doughnuts and drink fruit punch to mark the official start of the Christmas season. La Quema del Diablo or the Burning of the Devil happens in early December to cleanse the home and banish bad spirits. It’s all about starting the new year with a clean slate, literally and figuratively. Which sounds like one Christmas tradition I could get behind.

Originally published as World's craziest Christmas celebrations