Women are ‘maladaptive daydreaming’ on flights - here’s what that weird travel trend means
Women have a secret technique for passing time on flights that men are perplexed by. Introducing: "maladaptive daydreaming."
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It's a trope worthy of a 1940s self-help book that women are "mysterious unknowable creatures." But this bizarre in-flight trend has me as confused as a monkey that's been dumped in a koala enclosure.
That trend? Maladaptive daydreaming. But before we explain that, we need to explain raw dogging.
If you're not au fait with the latest antics of TikTok, raw-dogging a flight is the "monk like" act of sitting through a red eye without the aid of inflight entertainment, your phone, food, books or any other form of mental or physical reprieve from the boredom. Having been likened to the "ice bath of the skies" a true raw dogger just sits there and watches the flight map.
Whether you think it's a dumb way for men to flex their mental toughness, an ironic Internet meme or a revelatory way to get a dopamine detox, raw dogging had a bit of a moment the other week, jumping from obscure TikTok trend to the phrase "hitting it raw" being earnestly splashed over the pages of publications all around the world.
Now though, something even weirder is here. Something scarier. Something that - from the point of view of a man that hates being left alone with his thoughts - is terrifying: the female equivalent of raw dogging a flight.
That equivalent is called "maladaptive daydreaming," and after going full Indiana Jones through the archives of TikTok, I can confirm it is just as wild - perhaps wilder - than even the most ardent form of raw dogging.
Popular with "thought daughters" who can "overthink themselves into a hole for hours" while listening to Folklore and Evermore, maladaptive daydreaming ranges from imagining yourself being kidnapped by bad guys and Pedro Pascal coming to rescue you (little did I know: there is a whole subset of TikTok dedicated to niche Pedro Pascal fantasies) to dreaming your whole family has been killed in a helicopter accident (before meeting them smiling in the baggage collection area).
Rather than meditating on the flight screen, and doing your best for your thoughts to be white noise and That Sound That Comes Out Of The Vacuum Cleaner (the pinnacle of raw dogging), maladaptive daydreaming means letting your fantasies flow.
As one maladaptive daydreamer puts it, in a video captioned "looks like the perfect day to stare out the window and create 15 different plot twists to a situation that ended 6 months ago," maladaptive daydreaming "is my favourite past time."
Another said: "My maladaptive daydreaming has me creating plots for every situation and person around me." Yet another remarked: "So we’re all imagining random trauma that never happened? I feel less crazy now."
Another said: "This is so real."
The videos clearly resonated with a lot of women, with many comments like "My maladaptive daydreaming has me pretending I’m the most humble, prettiest, kindest, heroic celebrity there is" and "I’m honestly not sure what maladaptive daydreaming is but I do this all the time so hello" rolling in.
More comments included: "when life sucks but then you remember you can maladaptive-ly daydream" and "it's a good thing I have a 5 hour plane ride, headphones, new Billie album, and have never gotten over anything in my life."
However, before you get inspired to become the protagonist in your own mental Netflix series (and make a cute "maladaptive TikTok" about it), neuroscientist Mark Williams told Escape it's not actually possible to maladaptively daydream on demand and in fact is a medical problem.
"Maladaptive daydreaming occurs when people use daydreaming to cope with a mental health issue such as anxiety," Dr Williams told Escape. "It is maladaptive because it impacts on their lives in negative ways. They will often spend hours daydreaming when they are at work, school or with loved ones rather than interacting with the people around them and getting real work done in real life."
"It has a profoundly negative impact on their lives. It is a way of escaping reality and not a healthy coping mechanism."
"Normal daydreaming only becomes maladaptive when you are using it to cope with a mental health issue and it starts impacting on your everyday life in significant ways. It becomes and intrusive and regular occurrence during normal activities."
That said, he says daydreaming is a great way to pass the time on a flight; it's even something he does himself.
"What these people are doing on flights or train trips is not maladaptive daydreaming. They are just daydreaming. Daydreaming is a really great way to use our imaginations to create ideas or scenarios. It is something that we don't do enough of and is a great way to pass the time when you are bored. It is a great way to slow down and relax as you can create stories or ideas that are positive that would have a really positive impact on your current state and wellbeing."
Dr Williams also said we might be daydreaming more on flights these days because in our daily lives we're always plugged into something: "I think we used to all daydream more often which was great for us to improve our imaginations and creativity."
"Sadly these days very few of us ever daydream because we are constantly distracted. So now when people are simply daydreaming they think it is something far more extreme than it actually is. It should be a normal part of our lives but now it has become something extreme."
Dr Williams added: "There are no real risks to daydreaming as long as you are doing it in a safe environment. It is risky if you do it while driving for example, but doing it on a plane or train is a great thing to do."
"It is possible to daydream on demand and can be a positive thing to do when you are bored or as a way of coming up with new ideas or just distract you from your current situation."
Ok, on that note, you may have converted me. You hear that Pedro Pascal? We're all coming for you...
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Originally published as Women are ‘maladaptive daydreaming’ on flights - here’s what that weird travel trend means
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