‘Unexpected item in the baggage area’: Self-serve flaw sending me over the edge

I hate the self-serve checkout, largely because we spend most of our time being warned there’s an unexpected item in the baggage area, writes Frances Whiting.

I was at the supermarket the other day buying things I hadn’t gone there for, when I noticed an elderly woman having some trouble at the self-service checkout. I wandered over and asked if I could be of any assistance, and she said yes I could.

She only had a few things, so I started whipping them through the checkout for her and popping them into her trolley bag, making sure I put the bruisable items on top when it occurred to me that I worked there now.

Honestly, it was all I could do once I’d bagged all her groceries not to enquire if she had some sort of reward card, and ask the manager what career pathways they offered.

Anyway, I was happy to help her because I know the particular sort of hell that is the self-serve checkout, and was only there myself because I just had one item to buy.

I hate the self-serve checkout, which was introduced apparently to save us all time but does the opposite, largely because we spend most of our time being warned there’s an unexpected item in the baggage area. Every time this happens, I want to yell at the top of my voice.

YOU KNOW WHAT? IT’S ME, I’M THE UNEXPECTED ITEM IN THE BAGGAGE AREA!

Frances Whiting shares her thoughts about the selfserve checkout at supermarkets.

Because I don’t want to be there. None of us do. We don’t want to serve ourselves, we want someone to serve us, we’re tired dammit. And stop asking if we’ve brought our own bags. Of course we have, because we have to do everything ourselves in the supermarket now, don’t we? Some days I am surprised they don’t ask me to do the clean up in aisle three.

Anyway, after I helped the woman with her groceries, she tried to pay with her card, but it didn’t work.

Oh no, I thought, here we go, because I knew what was coming. Sure enough, a few seconds later “Please wait for assistance” flashed on the screen. I hate waiting for assistance, as well. And here’s why, the person assisting you often makes you feel a little bit stupid, don’t they? And they often look vaguely irritated that they have to assist you at all. And every time this happens I want to point out that I don’t actually work there, so I don’t have a magic, laminated card to whip out across the screen and fix everything.

Anyway, when the lady finished and paid, I asked if she would like me to walk her to her car or bus, or taxi and she said, yes please, she would. So we were waiting at the taxi rank together, and she looked at me and said, “I’m going to tell the manager how helpful you’ve been next time I go there.”

I wasn’t sure what to say, because I didn’t want her to feel silly, so I just said thank you and went back into the store to buy the item I’d originally been in line for. It took a long time because the line was much longer, and there was an unexpected item in my baggage area.

All I can say is I’d better get Employee of the Month.

Originally published as ‘Unexpected item in the baggage area’: Self-serve flaw sending me over the edge