The secret method I use to get through airports faster than everyone else

Hint: it has nothing to do with only packing carry-on luggage.

As someone who travels internationally at least once a month, I consider myself an airport expert. An airport ninja, if you will. 

I have never reached the front of an airport queue without having every required document fanned in front of me like a peacock’s tail. I can slip around an airport check-in terminal like a river of liquid mercury.

Security scanners? Once I’m at the front of the conveyor belt I have read the rules for that particular airport (they’re different at every one) and as required my coat is off, my shoes are in my hands, my laptop is unsheathed and I juggle it all into a tray with the dexterity of an octopus.

In fact, I’ve started timing myself. Routinely, I make it from my front door (which is, admittedly, a ten-minute drive from Sydney’s International Airport on a light-traffic day) to Duty Free in under 30 minutes.

See also: Sydney airport’s hidden little secret

Thirty minutes from door to Dior may not be feasible for everyone but there are many ways you can cut down your airport transit times. If you want to join me in peals of gay laughter as you sweep past every other schmuck traveller milling around the terminal like a confused herd of cattle, then follow these tips:

1. Do not check in online

Checking in online is supposed to make things quicker, right? But in reality - especially if you’re flying internationally - there will still be queues you have to join to get your passport manually checked by staff and your bags dropped. In fact, on a recent Emirates flight from Sydney, I noticed the queue for people who had ‘checked in online’ was about four times the size of the queue for the regular check-in (I smugly joined the latter).

And yes, you can still choose your seat pre-check in, or even better, get help from the person at the check in desk about changing to a better seat.

2. Forget about ‘carry on only’

One of life's underrated pleasures is walking through Duty Free with just a handbag

Regular readers of this column will know that I loathe The Cult of Carry On. Yes, you think you’re outsmarting everyone when you sail past the baggage carousel but what about the time you lose holding up the queue at the security scanner, rummaging through your undies to find your aerosols and makeup which inevitably ends up being over 100ml and jettisoned into the rubbish bins?

What about how taxing and time-consuming it is to totter and teeter around the airport terminal, leaving a trail of scarves and dropped passports in your wake that you must then double back to retrieve? Precisely. Check your bags like a grown up and saunter freely around the terminal with a handbag - exactly like you do in real life. 

3. Find the secret ticket dispensers at Sydney Airport

Don't line up for these, wait for the ones right at the end...

This is a specific tip for people arriving into Sydney’s International terminal. You know those ticket machines, where you feed your passport into a slot and it asks you seemingly random questions such as “Have you been to South America?” and “Are you a terrorist?”.

Ignore the first ones you see. And the second ones. And possibly even the third ones, depending on which route you’ve taken. The machines you want are past Duty Free. They’re even past the staff member telling you that you can ‘only join this queue if you have a ticket’ (keep your eyes ahead and act like you know what you’re doing - because you do).

There are four last-chance ticket dispensers just metres away from the face-scanning machines and because no one knows they’re there, they have no queues. But keep this one to yourself or else everyone will do it! 

4. Pack your bags on the day you’re leaving, not the night before

Packing the night before your flight is actually a mistake

This sounds counter-intuitive but hear me out. Pack on the day you’re leaving, no matter how early. The method of packing everything the night before except the clothes you’re wearing and the cosmetics etc. that you’ll need in the morning is one surefire way to confuse yourself and leave things behind.

Odds are you packed the socks you wanted to wear on the plane. Or you’ve left out your cleanser which you know you can’t take in your carry-on because it’s too large. Or you will forget to pack the phone charger you used overnight because your ‘morning mind’ isn’t in ‘packing’ mode.

If you get ready first and then do your entire pack in one fell swoop your brain is far more likely to remember everything and make sure it’s all in the right place. After all, nothing will slow you down at an airport more than having to make a furious dash home because you forgot your medications or your passport. 

Originally published as The secret method I use to get through airports faster than everyone else