When she rose to fame almost overnight in cult hit Heartbreak High, this 27-year-old trailblazer brought conversations about neurodiversity into mainstream media. Now, as she starts a new chapter, the actor and author has a powerful message for Australia.

A quick glance at Chloé Hayden’s Instagram page would have most people thinking that the Melbourne actor is, as her generation would say, “Just like other girls.” She posts cute, coupled-up pics with her husband Dylan Rohan, alongside snaps of her ever-growing menagerie of pets. There’s plenty of selfies of the star wearing frothy princess gowns to fancy events and reels dancing at all the hottest concerts, from Harry Styles to Taylor Swift. But you barely need to scratch the surface to discover that the actor and author, who was diagnosed with autism at 13, is, in her own words, “Different, not less.”

As she talks to Body+Soul from the stables of the equestrian centre in Sydney’s Centennial Park, she expands on the definition that has framed her life and, more recently, her work. “I’m an autistic person in the entertainment industry. That’s how people see me, and I’m OK with that,” she admits. “I’m so much more, but autism is inherently who I am.”

It’s important to Hayden – who burst into the public consciousness with her groundbreaking role as Quinni in cult Netflix series, Heartbreak High (more on that later) – to make this distinction: “I say that I’m autistic, not that I have autism, because it is an intrinsic part of who I am. It’s not something I can put on and take off, like a coat. So by nature, anything that I do, any roles that I have or anything I am is inherently autistic.” 

Hayden is hyper-aware of the power social media holds, so the trailblazer and disability advocate is vigilant when it comes to ensuring that – alongside photos of movie premieres and dreamy days spent riding horses – she gives true accounts of the moments that aren’t so aesthetically pleasing. “I do post a lot of the more real stuff, but then I deal with comments like, ‘Oh, she’s just putting it on,’” she explains. “Or some people see it and won’t accept it because it doesn’t fit in with what they’ve already decided about me.”

She may now be a famous actor, but as a child Hayden never saw anyone like herself onscreen – a fire that has fuelled everything this powerhouse is currently doing to normalise discussion around neurodiversity. ‘Different’ is a label that the Geelong-based star has become accustomed to; growing up in Melbourne, she faced such extreme bullying that her family packed up and moved to the country. She attended 10 different schools in eight years before withdrawing in early high school to be home-schooled by her parents, Sarah and Ronnie. 

As a teenager, she began blogging about her experiences with autism under the pseudonym Princess Aspien. To her surprise, thousands of people instantly connected with her story, reaching out over social media to thank her for making them feel less alone. 

Fast forward a few years, and today she’s known around the world as Quinni, who, like Hayden, is autistic. Her nuanced portrayal has garnered attention from critics, along with a 2025 AACTA Audience Choice Award nomination for Favourite Australian Actress and a 2023 Logie nomination for Most Popular New Talent.

“I never had an autistic character that I could fully feel myself in and fully resonate with,” she recalls of why the 2022 series launch mattered so much. 

“I spent my childhood and teenage years looking to mythical creatures and Disney princesses to find aspects of myself. People who were seen as oddballs and who didn’t fit in, they were the people I looked to. So being able to be the person others can actually relate to is literally life-changing. The amount of messages I’ve had from autistic people, and from parents, teachers, siblings and friends, saying Quinni has saved kids’ lives because they see themselves represented, has meant everything to me.”

But Hayden hasn’t just dominated TV screens. In 2022, she released a book – Different, Not Less – which hit the bestseller list. And in 2023 she moved into the audio sphere, launching a groundbreaking podcast, Boldly Me, and hosting intimate conversations with media identities, including Grace Tame, Dylan Alcott and Hannah Diviney.

What started small has become a revelation, and not just for Hayden. “It was so exciting – and anxiety-inducing – having these incredible people walk through the door. All of my guests had such different stories, but were all so ‘themselves’. And I think that’s what I loved most – being able to show a whole new kind of audience that different isn’t less, and here’s proof in some of the most brilliant people in the world.”

But while social media has been one of the biggest catalysts for Hayden’s meteoric rise to fame, she acknowledges that it can be a double-edged sword. “Social media can be a blessing, and it can be a curse,” she says. “It’s what gave me a community, but it’s also what contributed to my body dysmorphia, anorexia and, later down the line, an influx of death threats, hate comments and attempts to be ‘cancelled’. It’s a scary, awful thing that can also be beautiful when accessed correctly. When I got my autism diagnosis, there was no online community for me to escape to. I want my social media to be a place where people run when they’re feeling wronged or outcast. I want people to see themselves, and their futures.”

Challenging stigma

While a growing number of high-profile women – from radio host Em Rusciano to former Australian of the Year, Tame – are now joining Hayden in speaking openly about neurodiversity, when it comes to true representation, she knows there’s still a long road ahead. “Progress has been made, but I still don’t think the media understands how important representation is. It’s not just a matter of ticking a box. For example, when I tell people I’m autistic, I still regularly get responses like, ‘So are you like Rain Man?’ or, ‘But you don’t act like someone who’s autistic.’ That’s why having characters who accurately represent autism is so important. It not only changes people’s lives, it changes how we understand autistic people.”

On the subject of what an autistic person acts like, the self-confessed creative has spent her life fielding invasive questions. It’s something she deals with almost daily, as unsolicited comments on her social media account question her diagnosis due to their perceived idea of how neurodivergent people look or behave. Today, as Hayden wraps her arms around Sammy, the white horse she sits atop on our cover shoot, she eloquently explains to the crew that while this is a great day for her, tomorrow will likely look very different.

“There’s days like today where I get to do a photo shoot and live this glamorous, Instagrammable life. But then I can almost guarantee I’m going to go home tomorrow and be so burnt out that I’m not going to be able to speak and Dylan is going to have to literally shower me, brush my teeth and feed me."

“Tomorrow someone would look at me and see me as a low-functioning person. I think that’s probably the biggest misconception, that what you see isn’t necessarily what is, and you will never be able to understand a disabled person’s life just by seeing them. I’ve got physical disabilities and chronic illnesses that people don’t see. And because they see an able-bodied and a societally pretty woman, they look at me and say, ‘You can’t be autistic or physically disabled, because I have a view of what disabled, chronically ill and autistic people look like, and you’re not it.’ I’m lucky to have the best support in the world with my parents, my siblings and my husband. I can function better because I have that support behind me.”

And while Hayden’s tireless quest to challenge stigma and stand up for disability rights is gaining traction, as she freely admits, it can sometimes take its toll. “I think there are some people who are exhausted on my behalf,” she says, when asked if she ever feels fatigued by the media’s interest.

“There are a lot of people who make sure to remind me that I’m not the face of autism, and my response is that I’m not trying to be. I’m just trying to exist. When I got diagnosed and Googled ‘autism’, I didn’t see any YouTubers discussing it, and I certainly couldn’t find anybody advocating for autism. The first four pages on Google were websites about how to stop autism, how to cure autism and support for parents who felt their life and child were ruined by autism. So I spoke about it because no-one else was, but I very much welcome other people to talk about it. I think it’s so important that I’m not the only person doing it. If I opened the door, I’m holding it wide open for others to come in.” 

The next chapter

Just days before our cover shoot, Hayden wrapped filming the third and final season of Heartbreak High. She tears up when talking about the last day on set, which for the actor who didn’t attend high school in her real life, was especially poignant. “Getting to do high school, be a kid for a bit longer and do it with people who are my best friends was very cathartic and healing. I got to experience high school in a positive way.”

Much like a school leaver, Hayden has the world at her feet and, when it comes to her next move, the tears dry up and she breaks into one of her trademark grins. “I don’t know, and I think that’s really cool. There’s definitely been moments where I’ve thought, ‘What if no-one wants me after this,’ and, ‘I’m unemployed now,’ but it’s also really exciting. I’m looking forward to having a proper break so I can be with my horses and my family and get to feel like my own person again. What’s meant to be will come to me, but for now I’m going to do my own projects, focus on writing and training my horses and get back to being Chloé again.”

The change comes a year on from another major milestone – marrying Rohan. The pair, who met on a dating app, married at a country homestead just outside of Geelong in January last year. Hayden, who says she knew the moment she met Rohan that he was “her person”, reflects on her first year as a wife and says, “In the best way possible, nothing has changed. I was scared before getting married because I had so many people say, ‘Everything’s going to change,’ or, ‘That’s such a big step,’ and, ‘It’s the best day of your life.’ I was like, ‘Oh great, so it’s all downhill from here?’ That’s crazy. I was only 26, so how could that be it for me?”

And top of the agenda for the loved-up newlyweds: spontaneous travel. “I bought Dylan a trip to Tassie for Christmas, so we’re heading there. Then we’re off to Adelaide to swim with great white sharks. It’s the only place in Australia you can do that, and I’m stoked about it. Then it’s on to Perth, to swim with whale sharks. It’s going to be a year of swimming with sharks.”

As someone who’s spent her entire life pushing back on limitations others have tried to place on her, the sky is now the only limit for Hayden, who isn’t planning to stop trying to change the world anytime soon. “The main thing I want people to know, particularly parents and teachers, is to focus on the cans instead of the can’ts,” she says. “At the end of the day, autism is a disability and I don’t like when people say it’s not. That doesn’t help anyone, as everyone focuses on what they think we can’t do and I want to prove them wrong. I’ve got so many dreams and so many things that I want to make happen. Whatever opportunities come my way, I’m ready for anything and everything.” And as this warm, funny and wise game-changer has proven time and time again, she’s more than up to the challenge.

Need resources? Try these

Different, Not Less by Chloé Hayden, $33 from Amazon

An insightful, necessary guide for anyone interested in neurodiversity, whether they’re autistic themselves, supporting a loved one or simply looking to expand their perspective. With her signature warmth and authenticity, Hayden’s book is informative and empowering.

The Year I Met My Brain by Matilda Boseley, $24 from Amazon

The journalist and presenter’s book is a highly relatable deep dive into life with ADHD, from the perspective of a woman diagnosed in adulthood. Boseley provides practical tips for managing ADHD challenges, from productivity hacks to self-compassion strategies.

Late Bloomer by Clem Bastow, $31.50 from Booktopia

In her powerful memoir about discovering her autism later in life, the Australian screenwriter challenges stereotypes, particularly how autism presents in women and non-binary individuals. Educational and affirming, it offers a sense of validation to those who’ve found themselves on a similar path.