'This scarily accurate astrology app changed my life'

Sceptics be warned

Regardless of whether or not you're a big believer in astrology, Paloma Worley says the accuracy of The Pattern's predictions is enough to change anyone's mind.

Sit down at any cafe these days and chances are you’ll hear someone talking about how the planets are helping them date, work, dress or even talk to one another. For sceptics like me, eavesdropping on conversations about astrology would usually provoke the eye roll to end all eye rolls. That was until I discovered The Pattern.

An app that asks you for the date, time and location of your birth, and in return gives you a thorough blueprint of your character, patterns and how you relate to the world – it isn’t for the faint of heart. Many people who have tried the app have been astounded that it can confirm things with scary accuracy.

The app is so accurate it even had Channing Tatum ranting about it on Twitter, demanding that the people behind The Pattern call or DM him to explain how they know these things about him. Tatum felt compelled to make the rant after receiving a notification regurgitating word for word what he’d discussed in therapy the day prior. The proof is in the pattern!

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In addition, the app helps you understand how you relate to others who have Pattern accounts by cross-analysis of their birth charts with yours, providing insights into relationships both platonic and romantic. For example, I might be arguing with a loved one and moments later receive a Pattern app notification detailing what’s going on with them. 

As a staunch sceptic of the astrological realm I was shocked by the accuracy and detail revealed as The Pattern dissected my character. But don’t just trust me, trust my friends who looked at me with raised eyebrows as I read to them how The Pattern told me I tend to be strong-willed and assertive when given a mission or purpose, give too much to the people around me to my detriment, or impractical in romantic relationships. 

The Pattern’s ‘cycles’ feature

The Pattern believes we all live in cycles that we’re continually passing through. This is my favourite part of the app as it reveals pivotal periods in which you might ‘make a connection of destiny’, ‘change your approach to work’ or ‘have a creative breakthrough’, to name a few. The app also shows the peak dates during which you might experience these cycles. 

You know what they say, it’s always good to have something to look forward to and this feature does just that. I’ve found it invites you to get excited about the future - who you might meet, how you might change your work or what you might create.

Checking the app has become a morning ritual. Image: Pexels

Take it with a grain of salt

Between taking a pee and my cup of coffee, checking The Pattern has become somewhat of a morning ritual for me. With all things concerning the ‘woo woo’ or self-help words, I have two rules of thumb: interpret any teachings as suggestions rather than commandments, and only take what serves you. 

So what does that look like when using The Pattern? For instance, I don’t interpret the ‘daily vibe’ feature on the app (which tells you the general energy of one’s day) as either a bad omen or a proclamation of good fortune. Rather, I use this feature as a morning ritual to check in and see where my blind spots may be. This short morning check-in has become vital as it inspires me to ask myself questions throughout the day like -  Am I asking for what I want in the best way possible? Do I need to take better care of something I’ve been neglecting in my life? Will my post-coffee bog ever come? The important stuff!

While I’ve found The Pattern to be generally pretty accurate, the app does sometimes get it wrong. There might be zero strain in my relationship with a friend and I’ll get a notification about a phantom tension we’re experiencing.

Rather than spiralling, trying to find problems where there aren’t any, I’ll choose to politely ignore the notification. Taking only what serves me and leaving the rest! 

Originally published as 'This scarily accurate astrology app changed my life'