The biggest mistakes people make when setting New Year goals

Are you guilty of these?

Are your New Year’s resolutions guided by quick fixes and superficial desires? Here’s how to set goals for a happier, healthier life you’ll actually stick to.  

As we inch closer to the end of the silly season, setting new goals for the upcoming year is front of mind for most people. 

But, as everyday life's often exhausting and stressful realities set in, sticking to our New Year's resolutions past January can often feel impossible. 

When it comes to especially definitive goals, such as losing 15 kg or snagging that promotion at work, failing to achieve them can leave us feeling defeated and inadequate. 

So, how should we approach our New Year’s resolutions heading into 2024? According to Peloton instructor and wellness expert Emma Lovewell, the secret to feeling fulfilled and remaining on a trajectory of growth lies in how, and why, we set our goals– not whether or not we achieve them.  

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Emma Lovewell is an esteemed instructor for the global fitness conglomerate, Peloton. Whether you’ve tried your hand at a few sweaty classes, or are familiar with that fateful scene in And Just Like That (we still haven't recovered), you’re no doubt familiar with the unmatched popularity of the workout platform.

Having initially worked as a professional dancer, and then as an instructor with the brand for six years, Lovewell has dedicated her career to all things wellness. 

As a passionate advocate for people’s physical and mental health, Lovewell knows a thing or two about goal-setting. So, what is her secret to unlocking our (realistic) dreams and desires this coming year?

The biggest goal-setting mistake we make

From manifesting and visualisation to vision boards and journaling, clear goal-setting has always been a powerful driving force for people’s actions and choices in life. 

So, why do so many of our New Year’s resolutions fall flat? Well, according to the wellness expert, it usually has something to do with aligning our desires with unrealistic timelines. 

“The biggest issue with New Year's resolutions, I think, is that people set goals that they don't stick to that are unattainable or unachievable,” says Lovewell. 

For example, if health and fitness are your focus in the new year and you aim to lose a set amount of weight by March, you’re likely going to be left feeling disappointed in your efforts if your results don’t perfectly line up with your expectations.

As Lovewell says, employing a healthy dose of grace and flexibility is essential when it comes to goal-setting, as well as using positive language when talking to ourselves. 

“I also think that something that's been helpful for me is to not focus on scarcity,” Lovewell says, suggesting we gear our goals towards what we want more of rather than limiting ourselves. 

“I think it's such a subtle thing in your language and your mindset if you say, ‘I don't want to eat pizza anymore in January’, maybe instead say, ‘my goal is to eat way more green vegetables’ and then focus on the thing that you want more of instead of the thing that you are depriving yourself of.”

While it’s important to hold yourself accountable, you shouldn’t punish yourself or give up if your progress hits a speed bump or two. Image: Pexels

How to set up your year for success

With achievability in mind, Lovewell encourages us to approach our goals for the new year (and life in general) with flexibility and resilience. 

“I believe you should write your goals in pencil. I think that you should be able to erase your goal, and change it,” she adds. “It doesn't mean you're giving up, and I don't believe in giving up. I believe in just pivoting and making it work for you.”

But while much of our progress and encouragement comes from within, it’s never a bad idea to lean on the support of our friends, family and community, the instructor says. 

“Sometimes when we feel alone and disconnected, it's easy to just not hold yourself as accountable,” adds Lovewell.

“Your community can be really important, especially when you're setting goals because if you're around people that are supportive and want to maybe help you with your goals and or share their own.”

Originally published as The biggest mistakes people make when setting New Year goals