Sylvia Jeffreys: ‘I felt emotionally insecure’

Today Extra co-host Sylvia Jeffreys opens up about her fear of motherhood, battling perfectionism, and letting go of ever achieving a work-life balance, in an exclusive interview with Stellar.

The easy and assured way that Today Extra co-host Sylvia Jeffreys transitions from news to human interest stories (with a bit of celebrity banter in-between) has been the hallmark of her media career. But having two sons in quick succession with husband Peter Stefanovic rattled her confidence. Could she excel at motherhood and still thrive at her demanding day job? As she joins Stellar for a photo shoot and a frank chat, Jeffreys explains how she only made peace with perfectionism by letting go of the myth she could ever achieve the ideal work-life balance because, as she says: “If anyone had cracked the code, I think we’d all have read the book by now”

Her maternity leave over, Sylvia Jeffreys returned to the Today Extra couch in July 2020

with a palpable frisson of excitement.

She had spent nearly six months getting to know Oscar, her first child with husband Peter Stefanovic, and was looking forward to trading stories from the parenting trenches with her co-host David Campbell.

Outwardly, it was business as usual, with Jeffreys handling morning television news and banter while subsequently sharing happy snaps of her baby son on social media.

Privately, though, the presenter and journalist was a little less settled – she wanted to be back at work but, like so many, worried about leaving her son.

Soon, Jeffreys began to notice that she wasn’t quite herself. “I’d only been back at work four weeks when I started feeling nauseous and experiencing this unmistakable brain fog,” she recounts. “I thought, hang on, I know these feelings – this isn’t a bug.”

Not long after she finished breastfeeding then six-month-old Oscar, Jeffreys took an at-home test that quickly proved what she suspected: she was once again pregnant.

It was all the more surprising because she and Stefanovic had required IVF to conceive the first time around.

“It was a serious bolt from the blue, but in the best possible way,” Jeffreys tells Stellar, pointing out that if little Henry reads stories about his birth one day, she wants him to know that his mum and dad always planned to have a second baby.

“It just happened a little earlier than we expected,” she adds with a laugh.

$ylvia Jeffreys and Peter Stefanovic welcomed their second child Henry just over a year after their first son Oscar. Picture: Steven Chee for Stellar.

Surprise pregnancies may require some complex staff shifting in most industries, but against the unceasing grind of television, they’re all the more disruptive.

Producers and network executives worry that viewers who have formed attachments to their favourite hosts may turn away if they’re off-screen, which translates into ratings upheaval. Jeffreys, however, says her boss at the Nine Network was fully supportive.

“It’s not easy to say, ‘Hey, you know how I came back? Well, I’m about to leave again,’” she admits. “That wasn’t the plan, but the world works in mysterious ways. He was more than happy and thrilled for us.”

While the births of Oscar, now two-and-a-half, and Henry, 17 months, have brought joy and fulfilment, Jeffreys says they have also destroyed any idealistic notion that a seamless work-life juggle is achievable.

“We talk about work-life balance like it’s some kind of jigsaw; that there’s a plan that you can put together and it will all look perfect in the end.

“But there’s no such thing as the perfect balance, and I think we need to stop selling that to mums and dads out there. If anyone had cracked the code, I think we’d all have read the book by now.”

While the couple’s unexpected pregnancy prompted adjustments in her personal life, Jeffreys, 36, also experienced professional upheaval when, shortly after attending the wedding of her brother-in-law Karl Stefanovic to Jasmine Yarbrough in December 2018, she and her husband – and Karl – were let go from their jobs in a massive restructuring at Nine.

Six months later, in June 2019, she made headlines when she told Stellar in her first sit-down interview after the sacking: “I was collateral.”

Three years on, she explains that the episode ultimately taught her a lesson in resilience and perspective.

“It feels like ancient history,” she reflects. “The big learning for us is that sometimes you feel life is giving you the middle finger, but really it’s a gift. I look at where we are now and, really, we couldn’t be happier.”

Now, her husband endures the trying hours of breakfast TV on the Sky News program First Edition, while she enjoys a more leisurely and family-friendly start time on Today Extra.

“We have two beautiful children and we both have jobs that we love, so we’ve landed in a really healthy place,” she says, making the point that job losses in television often generate a lot of attention but are no more difficult than in other fields.

“I think sometimes some of us in our industry could be guilty of navel-gazing a bit,” she adds. “That feeling of uncertainty and fragility has been so universal, particularly in the past couple of years with the pandemic.

“That’s not to diminish experiences that others have had, but we can’t get caught up in this idea that TV is the only industry where jobs come and go and people exit and reappear, because that’s just life.”

Sylvia Jeffreys encourages people to be conscious that a lot of families struggle with fertility. Picture: Steven Chee for Stellar.

Jeffreys’ particular brand of resilience and empathy may come from being raised by her mum, Janine, who worked with people with disabilities.

She agrees that those instincts have deepened throughout her distinguished career, as she tells human interest stories both as a news reporter and a presenter on A Current Affair, where she moved to after Today (and to which she still files stories).

“We interview people when they’re encountering trauma or grief or enormous loss,” she says. “And if that’s not perspective, then I don’t know what is.”

A challenging experience of her own helped to reshape Jeffreys’ view around the way society addresses family planning.

Working as the news presenter on Today when she and Stefanovic, who wed in 2017, were trying to conceive, she became frustrated as she failed to fall pregnant. Enquiries from others, however well meaning, added to the stress.

“I’m sure I would have done that to people in the past,” she concedes of the tendency to ask women about their pregnancy status. “But it’s important to be conscious of the fact a lot of people are struggling with infertility, and are carrying that privately.”

(In September 2019, Stellar implemented an editorial policy that confirmed it would no longer ask women or celebrities being interviewed for the magazine if they’re intending to have children.)

Having gone through a little of the turmoil in such a situation herself, she explains, “For obvious reasons, you don’t want people understanding where you’re at in an IVF cycle and hanging off every development. If you have to give negative news, that only compounds the problem for you.”

And for those who have endured fertility treatments for years, along with their corresponding financial burdens, Jeffreys says bluntly, “IVF needs to be more accessible for families in Australia.”

As for her own parenting, she says she still has moments of self-doubt and appreciates the gamut of emotions that accompanies a return to work after having children.

Colleague Belinda Russell filled in on Today Extra during Jeffreys’ parental leave, yet rather than feeling concerned that another host was forming a strong partnership with Campbell, she enjoyed watching the show during her time breastfeeding – first Oscar, then Henry.

“It was a silver lining having their company with me in the living room,” she recalls.

“But when I went back to work, I felt the emotional insecurity that everyone feels when they return from maternity leave.

Sylvia Jeffreys: ‘I’ve never wanted so fiercely to be good at something as I do with parenting” Picture: Steven Chee for Stellar.

“You start thinking, will people view me differently now? And am I going to perform my job differently now? Am I going back too soon? Am I letting one down and prioritising the other?”

Yet whether Jeffreys is suggesting story ideas for Today Extra, serving as an ambassador for the charity Youngcare or participating in a fun run, she has always faced her to-do list with trademark commitment and an expectation of excellence.

Given that, it follows that she brings the same care and attention to being a mother.

“I’ve never wanted so fiercely to be good at something as I do with parenting,”

she tells Stellar.

But on the occasions when she does second-guess herself, her co-host Campbell – who’s a father of three – gives her moral support.

Just the day before her interview with Stellar, Jeffreys was once again feeling self-doubt, but Campbell reminded her that she was a strong and devoted mum. “He keeps my tyres pumped when I need it,” she adds.

Mostly, though, Jeffreys is just grateful: for her sons, her ability to maintain her career and the quiet afternoons when she and Stefanovic, 40, are together at home once their on-air work is finished.

“I feel like I do get time with my boys while also still being able to keep my foot in the career door,” she says. “I love the job I go to every single day, so I’m not carrying a lot of stress or anxiety at home.”

Jeffreys has also partnered – for the first time – with a fashion brand, and is currently working with the UK-based online retailer Next. She chose it because the company’s ethos of making clothes that are fun but also accessible aligns with her values.

“I’ve picked lots of things for myself – including some for work – but I’ve been shopping up a storm getting stuff for the boys because they’re clothes they can wear every day.

“I get overwhelmed at the shops, so if I can share some of the things I’ve found, that can help alleviate some of that thinking for another person.”

Jeffreys adds that her mum Janine has been a big help when it comes to looking after her boys, pointing out her willingness to drop everything to be there when needed and a playfulness that is on display when she gets down on all fours to give them pony rides.

“She’s so devoted to her family,” she says. “We can always count on her.”

As for her five-year marriage, Jeffreys says it works better with Stefanovic doing the 4am starts, admitting with a laugh that her husband handles the “stupid o’clock” wake-ups far better than she did when she was on Today.

“He’s lights out by 8pm without fail, whereas I’d still be scrolling through my phone at 9-9.30pm, looking for one more story to read.”

He’s also more courteous, she reveals, often rising before his alarm and sneaking out the door so he doesn’t wake her.

“He’s much better at those hours than I was. I’m a horrible wife,” she says jokingly.

Sylvia Jeffreys stars on the cover of this Sunday’s Stellar. Picture: Steven Chee for Stellar.

Jeffreys adds that parenthood has only deepened their relationship.

“We’re best mates and a really strong team, and there’s an equal level of respect on both sides,” she says.

But the real secret to their marital harmony?

“He lets me order the pizza that I want. And that’s crucial to the success of our marriage.”

Originally published as Sylvia Jeffreys: ‘I felt emotionally insecure’