Selina from MAFS opens up about brutal breakup

She spoke out about racism on the set of Married at First Sight. Now Selina Chhaur has revealed what really went on behind the scenes - and the need for more Asian representation on TV.

When Selina Chhaur signed up for Married At First Sight, she was looking for the love of her life. What she wasn’t expecting was to become embroiled in a scandal that made headlines nationally. Here, she talks with Stellar about how she handled the aftermath of a very public break-up, why more Asian representation is needed on screen, and deciding to put herself first

There’s no easy way to deal with a break-up, even more so if the relationship played out on TV, and especially so if the whole saga began on Married At First Sight, the Nine Network reality series that matches couples – who meet for the first time at the altar – based on advice from experts.

Selina Chhaur, 34, says she had an open heart and mind when she joined the “experiment” – the term MAFS uses to describe its format – which aired earlier this year.

But the Adelaide-based hairstylist admits that she could never have anticipated what was to come when she met her now-ex, Sydney-based fitness trainer Cody Bromley.

For Chhaur – who was born in Australia and has Chinese and Cambodian heritage – there were red flags with Bromley early on.

As she tells Stellar, she felt “invisible and less-than. I pointed out to him, ‘Is it because I’m Asian?’ To which he answered, ‘Yes, you’re not something I’m used to,’ and ‘Your ethnicity did have something to play with that.’ He knew immediately how wrong and hurtful those words were.”

Selina Chhaur speaks to Stellar about the racism she faced on the set of Married At First Sight. Picture: Steven Chee for Stellar.

The pair gave the relationship a proper go, even after the MAFS cameras stopped rolling late last year.

“We were doing long distance,” Chhaur says. “We shared Christmas together, he came to Adelaide... To this day, I can’t tell you why [we split]. I haven’t been given closure.”

For Chhaur, the break-up came out of nowhere. During the MAFS reunion in January, she told their fellow cast members she was moving to Sydney.

“I felt like he was being a bit weird [in the car afterwards]. I thought, oh, now he’s shutting off again. I put my hand on top of his, to which he had this knee-jerk reaction and shook my hand off.

“He’s like, ‘You know what, I’m going to call it.’ That’s how he ended it.”

Asked how she dealt with the split, Chhaur tells Stellar, “It’s OK to know your worth enough to let go of something that’s not good for you.

“My confidence got completely annihilated on that show. It brought back so much of my childhood trauma of feeling not good enough, and ugly.”

The scandal became a huge plot line and source of drama on the show – now in its ninth season – and prompted a wider discussion.

As Chhaur says now, “As painful as that initial experience was, it sparked conversation around a topic that we kind of tiptoe around. “[I’ve seen] people saying, ‘She’s insecure!’ Basically saying ‘[Bromley] is just not that into Asians, that doesn’t mean he’s racist.’

“What prompted me to ask the hard-hitting question, ‘Is it because I’m Asian that you’re just not interested?’ [was that] there was behaviour of prejudice, which is a feeling of unfair dislike directed at me because of my skin colour.”

$elina Chhaur: “My confidence got completely annihilated on that show’ Picture: Steven Chee for Stellar.

Seliana Chhaur: ‘I’d like to be part of the diversity movement in Australia’ Picture: Steven Chee for Stellar

In a statement to Stellar, Bromley denies any allegations of racism, saying: “I always made a point to be as honest as I could with Selina. I couldn’t care less what her ethnicity – or nationality, as she phrased it – is.

“Having never dated an Asian girl, it was simply a bit unfamiliar to me, it wasn’t that it bothered me. The [initial] question orientated around attraction and I wish I’d said what I did at the following commitment ceremony [at which he told Chhaur her ethnicity is “not how I look at you”].

“Unfortunately getting hit with a sensitive question like that unexpectedly in front of the cameras is very confronting. I regretfully didn’t handle things well.”

Now, Chhaur is using her platform – which includes 230k Instagram followers – to be a voice for diversity.

“I was born and raised in Australia, but there wasn’t really much Asian representation in the beauty or fashion industry. I’d like to be part of that [diversity] movement. It is slowly happening. I’d love to have that little girl sitting in her room going, ‘Wow, Mum, that girl looks like me.’”

That’s why Chhaur describes her recent fashion shoot with Stellar as “a Cinderella moment. [As a hairstylist], I’m used to being on the other end of the lens; I have always been the one fluffing the model’s hair. [This shoot is] very, very Selina.”

As for the future, she plans to move to Sydney – this time, for herself – and is open to dating.

“I just need a change of scenery. I think it’s time to move on... and see where life takes me. I’m in such a good place; I feel like I’ve found myself.”

Selina Chhaur feaures in this Sunday’s Stellar. Picture: Steven Chee for Stellar.

And her tips for others on the dating scene?

“I’m so big on self-care and self-love. If you pour time into making yourself feel good, you don’t have time to invest in someone who [doesn’t] have the same energy and time for you.”

Originally published as Selina from MAFS opens up about brutal breakup