Sam Armytage: ‘The curse of the chain letter is real’

“While I consider myself to be a fairly sensible young woman, I also refuse to open an umbrella inside the house,” writes Samantha Armytage. “And the very thought of disobeying a chain letter still scares the bejesus out of me.”

Samantha Armytage: “While I consider myself to be a fairly sensible young woman (who lies about her age), I also refuse to put shoes on a table or open an umbrella inside the house.” (Picture: Damian Bennett for Stellar)

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The other day while making my way to work at some revolting hour of the morning, the following things happened to me:

1) I cut my leg shaving in the shower.

2) I fell down the stairs in the dark.

3) I accidentally reversed my car into a pole.

And then number 4) — the worst luck so far — I walked into the kitchen at work and there was no milk left for my 4am coffee.

Had I walked under a ladder? Broken a mirror? Tipped over a salt shaker?

I did hang a horseshoe with the ends pointing down once in Year 6, but I’m sure my appalling hairdo in Year 7 was penance for that.

The pain of not finding any milk in the kitchen. (Picture: iStock)

Had a black cat crossed my path? And then I remembered.

The week before, I had deliberately, unapologetically and with great gusto failed to pass on a chain letter.

An email one.

You don’t need to know who sent it. (OK, it was my little sister who — frankly as a no-nonsense member of the Armytage clan — should know better.)

Seven of us received it, and as I scanned the pages regarding a feel-good story of karma (someone’s great-grandfather who’d discovered penicillin in some godforsaken place, blah, blah), I felt my hackles start to rise.

My annoyance was not directed at the inventor of antibiotics. It was for the inventor of the email chain.

And also for myself, because try as I might to detach from the possibility of seven years’ bad luck if I didn’t pass it on to seven people in my inbox, I still felt fearful.

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Paradoxically, while I consider myself to be a fairly sensible young woman (who lies about her age), I also refuse to put shoes on a table or open an umbrella inside the house.

And the very thought of disobeying a chain letter still scares the bejesus out of me.

Good old Lady Luck. Do you create her for yourself? Or is she forced upon us? Most of us try to bring good luck to our lives. To be optimistic, hard-working, resilient and happy for others.

But on the days we’re easily annoyed and lazy, should we avoid shaving our legs at 3.30am and take our own milk to work?

And why do we wish people “good luck” before an exam or a wedding or a family Christmas?

Can Lady Luck save us if we’re not properly prepared?

Has anyone ever actually found a four-leaf clover? And who should we turn to for advice?

Dirty Harry with his “Do you feel lucky, punk?” The Dalai Lama preaches, “Sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.”

There’s Frank Sinatra, who sang ‘Luck Be A Lady’.

Samantha Armytage’s column is in this Sunday’s Stellar.

How about the Irish, who swear by the saying “the harder you work, the luckier you get”?

And then there’s my mother, who just plainly swears: “I think the L in my Luck has been replaced with an F.”

Needless to say, this past week my luck has been looking up.

The cut on my leg has almost healed, the car is at the panel beater, and there has been milk in the work kitchen for the past two mornings in a row.

It appears taking the Dirty Harry/my mother approach to chain letters is actually OK (moving them to the trash with the hoax ATO letters and the messages from my boss), and I still have seven non-mad friends to show for it.

Now where did I leave my lucky rabbit’s foot?

Samantha co-hosts Sunrise, 5.30am weekdays, on the Seven Network.

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Originally published as Sam Armytage: ‘The curse of the chain letter is real’