Maria Thattil reveals chilling ‘cat calling’ incident

Former Miss Universe Australia, Maria Thattil opens up about the sexual harrassment she experienced in a dark car park, and the need “to look up, stand up and speak up” to combat the rape culture in our society.

He thought: Wow, she looks good. “Damn girl, why so fine?” Oh, she’s playing it cool. *Howls and friends follow suit.* She knows what she’s doing walking around in those pants. I’m complimenting you, turn around. “You’re FINE AS HELL.” Oh, she’s not smiling.

I thought: Damn it, the car park is deserted apart from those three guys. Just park your car, walk and keep your keys between your fingers. Eyes down – they’ll leave you alone. Oh no, they’re calling me.

If I ignore them, maybe they’ll stop. They’re howling. Grip keys tighter. Women have been assaulted in situations like this. Can’t they see how uncomfortable I am? No.

These are my thoughts versus those of the men harassing me in that car park a few weeks ago.

I ignored them to avoid escalation, but they howled louder, like hungry dogs wanting to feed.

So I stopped and turned to speak. “I want you to know I don’t appreciate being catcalled because it literally makes me feel unsafe.”

No smart remarks. No profanities. Just the truth.

At 12, I learnt to avoid eye contact after a man sat across from me on a bus, legs spread, and didn’t take his eyes off me.

At 17, I learnt to stop responding after a 50+-year-old man yelled that “they didn’t make ’em like that when I was in school”.

At 28, I realised this wasn’t something that no eye contact and silence could prevent after two men drove their ute to my house, yelling obscenities as I stood by the door.

Maria Thattil: ‘We have a rape culture underpinning our society’ Picture: Daniel Nadel for Stellar.

Including, but not limited to, sexually suggestive or threatening comments, gestures, howling or whistling, catcalling is a form of open verbal abuse.

While anyone can be a perpetrator or a victim, it disproportionately affects women.

Women are met with derision for not “letting it go” or “taking the compliment”, but we know it’s not a compliment; we know it’s about power and dominance.

Relative to many places in the world, Australia is a safe country for women. However, we have a rape culture underpinning our society.

It’s why non-consensual sharing of nude photos is rife in schools. It’s why alleged rapes in ministerial offices are met with empty acknowledgements and subsequent outrage. And why, on average, one woman a week is killed by a current or former partner.

We slut-shame, victim-blame and say “she’ll be right” as the poison of rape culture flows through our veins, normalising sexual violence with an air of inevitability.

Until everyone stands up against degrading women openly in the street, we have so much work to do.

Looking those men in the eyes and telling them they made me feel unsafe, I was met with silence before one spoke. “Actually, we’re really sorry.”

Hands up, he bowed his head as I left to the sweet sound of silence and respect that I had deserved in the first place.

Find Maria Thattil’s latest column in this Sunday’s Stellar. Picture: Steven Chee for Stellar.

While I don’t advocate for engaging when it is unsafe to do so, talking about this is how we will champion our right to dignity, freedom and safety.

In a world where women look down, grip their keys and be quiet, we need everyone to look up, stand up and speak up. We deserve to be safe.

Maria Thattil was Miss Universe Australia 2020 and is a TV presenter and writer.

Originally published as Maria Thattil reveals chilling ‘cat calling’ incident