Honey Badger: ‘I’m still open to finding someone’
As he reveals all about his new project, Nick “Honey Badger” Cummins reflects on his darkest times, the lessons learned — and why he’ll never appear on another reality show again.
Stellar
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Nick Cummins has always sought solitude and strength from nature.
From bushwalks on his family’s Brisbane property as a youngster to retreats near the water when his former life as a professional rugby union player became too serious, he was frequently put at ease by the great outdoors.
And so, unsurprisingly, when Cummins finished filming The Bachelor Australia last year — an experience that shook him to his emotional core — he went back to the bush.
While millions watched on as Cummins told contestants Brittany Hockley and Sophie Tieman he couldn’t see a future with either of them on the season finale of the much-talked-about dating series last October, he was thousands of kilometres away from a TV set walking the Kokoda Track, after which he headed to Far North Queensland and the Kimberley.
He was subsequently slammed on social media by those who’d wanted him to give audiences a fairytale ending.
“In times of stress and pain, I turn to what reminds me of those healthy feelings I had as a kid,” Cummins tells Stellar.
“Getting out into nature is healing. I go to an area where there is no reception and if there are a couple of bars [on my mobile phone], I put it on flight mode.
“I take my shoes off, bury my feet into the dirt and take a good old deep breath and slowly start to feel like me again.”
For the past year, the 31-year-old has retreated from the spotlight to find what he refers to as his “soul mission”.
Instead of cashing in on his fame, Cummins rejected interviews, declined to attend A-list events and only posted sporadically on social media.
“The experience I had [on The Bachelor] was really quite challenging for me, and I really hit some levels. But I think I matured quite a bit, so I don’t regret it at all,” he says now.
“It really gave me direction and forced me to understand that meaning is a non-negotiable. You have to have that in your life. We are on this earth for a reason, and that’s to make a difference in someone else’s life.”
For Cummins, meaning now comes in the form of Rogue Gentlemen’s Club (RGC), a business venture he’s launched with lifelong friend Blair Frendin.
The company arranges trips and excursions for men that offer a chance to reset, reconnect and recharge by taking them away from the grind of everyday life and immersing them in the freedom of nature. Sound familiar?
Cummins explains that the aim of the adventures is to help men release their masculinity in a positive way through activity, rather than downing beers. But it’s also intended as an outlet to discuss fears and vulnerabilities without judgement.
“We are building a fire, it’s not a therapy session. But there is something about nature that brings emotions out of people,” he says.
The idea started seven years ago, when Cummins was playing professional rugby for the Western Force and Wallabies.
Instead of spending the night before a match with teammates in a fancy hotel — “Who needs four knives and three spoons to eat dinner?” — he’d go fishing.
“I’ve realised there’s only a certain amount of energy one has to use for something,” says Cummins. “So I’d go recharge in nature and by the time I’d come back to the field, I could hit it with pace.”
Cummins and Frendin point out that suicide is the leading cause of death for Australians between the ages of 15 and 44, and occurs at a rate three times greater among men than women. As such, they believe in the immediate necessity for retreats such as theirs.
“Blokes these days are walking on eggshells,” Cummins tells Stellar. “They feel whatever they do, it’s going to upset someone, and the ones that do get upset are really upset. So blokes withdraw.
“When words like ‘pussy’ and ‘weak’ have been used to describe a bloke with emotion, it causes men to hold back. But I believe the most masculine or gentlemanly thing you can do is just show love, to step into that zone and own it.”
Which is ironic considering Cummins, who became a cult sport personality thanks to his love of Aussie slang, trademark curly hair and nickname of “Honey Badger”, was criticised mercilessly on social media for not falling in love during his run as The Bachelor. (Some messages even urged him to kill himself.)
Cummins has not owned a television for seven years and instead watches videos on YouTube when he wants screen time, but decided to do the show because of a personal philosophy inspired by his father Mark: “Have a crack at anything and hit it with pace. Either way, you win or you learn.”
But Cummins soon found the contrived and drama-fuelled environment of reality TV, which cuts off participants’ access to the outside world during filming, directly at odds with his personal authenticity.
“When I was in the deepest, darkest times during the show, I was thinking, ‘I don’t want to be here.’ It’s a tough place to be in mentally.
“Physically, I’m good. I’ve been dealing with 130kg blokes running at me; I’m happy in that world — and comfortable. But when it’s in your head, it’s a whole other battle. It’s a whole lot more intense.”
Cummins is someone who “craves loneliness” (he is the fourth of eight children), but he had to be followed by a show producer around the clock. So one day, he literally ran away while his minder was in the bathroom.
“I just took off into the bush,” he recalls. “And I went out there for hours and hours. I remember stripping off to my undies and laying on a rock and I said a couple of prayers.”
Cummins says he is not religious, and yet, “I asked whoever was listening, ‘Help. Give me some guidance and give me some energy.’ Because I was fading. My soul was going dark.”
The amount of time Cummins spent with the two finalists was very limited — and never took place without a camera crew nearby.
“It wasn’t enough time to get to know someone, let alone fall in love,” he says.
Which is exactly what he told second runner-up Brooke Blurton during their final date. He now clarifies her recent revelation that he told her he wasn’t going to pick anyone at the finale.
“I said to her, which I’d said before, that everything feels a bit staged and I don’t think I can find love in this type of environment.”
So when Cummins decided to end things by flying solo — a decision he only made at the very end — he knew he was in a lose/lose situation.
“I don’t get upset at the public for their viewpoint as they haven’t been in my shoes,” he says. “But they did see an edit. It’s not a documentary.”
In matters of the heart, Cummins says he’s now “gun shy... There are trust issues now, which I didn’t have before. But I’ve also learnt a lot about myself so I’m going to be better suited as a partner. I’m not looking, but I’m still open to finding someone.”
Cummins, of course, isn’t the only rugby union player who’s attracted headlines for speaking their mind in the past year.
His former Wallabies teammate Israel Folau had his contract terminated in May after controversial social media posts condemning various groups, including homosexuals.
Cummins’s take on the issue? “I commend [Folau] for his courage, for having an opinion in these times. I think it’s something we deserve, the right to [one’s] own opinion.
“But I also have a spiritual part to me that’s like, ‘Hang on a second, everyone is equal...’”
The spiritual counterbalance to his larrikin nature is something business partner Frendin, who has known Cummins since he moved to Sydney to play rugby at 18, has seen develop in the past couple of years.
He tells Stellar his mate is one of the most generous people he knows.
“During a rugby trip to South Africa, he was so affected by the poverty, he went to McDonald’s and bought 150 burgers for poorer children,” he recalls.
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And he points out that Cummins has an admirable amount of mental resilience. “He’s like a cat, always landing on his feet. He was told twice while playing rugby that an injury would end his career, but he’s fought back to achieve his goals.
“Even with the show, I told him I didn’t think it would be a good idea. But he’s taken the experience and it’s really driven him.”
Family also drives Cummins. The Tradie Underwear & Workwear ambassador famously gave up his spot in the Wallabies for a significantly higher financial contract in Japan so he could provide for his siblings Lizzie and Joe, who suffer from cystic fibrosis, as well as his father who has incurable prostate cancer — but recently surprised the doctors who diagnosed him by celebrating his 60th birthday.
They’ve also inspired his new business venture. “When we were young, we didn’t really hug my old man,” says Cummins.
“It was like, harden up and toughen up. But it’s not fine for kids who need that love and feel that connection. I remember coming to Dad, taking a big breath, and going in for a hug as a man. I felt lightning bolts.
“Now I can’t get in or out of the house without him hugging me. I love it. And I start all our RGC trips with a hug.”
Along with those hugs, the men who head out on his adventures can expect to hear a lot of Aussie rhyming slang and some cracker yarns.
“I’m no guru, but it seems I can have a chat with blokes,” he says with a smile. “I’ve nearly finished two passports. I come from a big family with a lot of sickness which has made us bond. I’ve been a professional athlete, which brought highs and lows.
“And then being on the show, which was lows and lows. There is a whole lot of wisdom which I want to pass on.”
And as far as another stint on reality television is concerned, Cummins has a quick reply ready for any offers that might come his way: “No. I’ve learned.”
For more information on the Rogue Gentlemen’s Club, visit roguegents.com.
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Originally published as Honey Badger: ‘I’m still open to finding someone’
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