Why staying with your dying pet is the greatest gift you can give them

Saying goodbye to a family pet can be heartbreaking, but there is one thing you can do for your furry friend in their final moments.

Saying goodbye to a dying pet is one of the hardest things owners have to endure – but not staying to say goodbye may be one of the hardest things your pet has to endure.

“It’s well documented that animals feel many of the same emotions that humans do,” says Lara Shannon, dog behaviourist, trainer, and pet food nutritionist. “So it stands to reason that pets, particularly dogs and cats, will be highly distressed during this time if left alone, and they will be looking for, and likely pining for, their owners in their final moments.”

It’s an issue many Australian households will have to face with our nation having one of the highest rates of pet ownership in the world. According to the RSPCA, 61 per cent of households are home to 29 million fur babies, with dogs being the most popular at 40 per cent, followed by cats at 27 per cent.

And while these pets bring us much joy, the only downside is that animals don’t live as long as we do, and watching them cross the “rainbow bridge” can be devastating. For some, it’s too much to bear and they opt to leave before the end.

Staying with your pets in their final moments brings them great comfort.

Shannon admits watching a pet pass away is difficult – “But your presence brings them comfort, particularly if you can stay calm and reassure them with gentle touch,” she says.

The issue is often a hot topic on social media. In 2016, a tweet from US pet owner Jesse Dietrich broke the internet’s heart when he talked about the emotional toll that euthanising animals takes on vets when owners leave the room. He described how the animal’s last moments were usually them frantically looking for their owners.

Then in 2018, a vet from South Africa, pleaded with pet owners in a Facebook post not to leave at the end as pets feel abandoned.

NO SUFFERING

Veterinarian Nicole Rous, of Mont Albert Vet in Melbourne, says in her experience most owners stay.

“It’s really important to be by their pet’s side in their final moments,” she says. “Over the 14 years I have been a vet I have only met a handful of people that have chosen to not be present. I have had many discussions with owners over the years that have stayed, and even though they weren’t sure if they should, none regretted it.”

Rous doesn’t believe that animals feel abandoned or more stressed if their owner isn’t present, however, thanks to the professional care they receive.

“Nurses are wonderful with pets if they are without their owners, and if they’re sedated beforehand they’re not really aware of the final injection,” she says. “Most owners are pleasantly surprised at how peaceful the experience can be. It gives them closure to know that they were able to give their pets their best gift, to allow them to pass with dignity and not suffer.”

If you have concerns about putting your pet to sleep in a clinic, there are other options. “There are amazing vets offering a really beautiful experience for pets to be euthanised at home,” says Rous. “The pros are that owners are more relaxed, and the pets are not stressed, especially if they don’t like vet clinics.”

Renee Block with Alice before she passed away.

PART OF THE FAMILY

Renee Block is a foster carer for the not-for-profit Little Legs Dog & Cat Rescue QLD Inc, and has fostered more than 50 dogs and cats over the past 10 years.

The 46-year-old single mum from the Gold Coast has personally experienced the devastation of losing a beloved pet; her 13-year old dalmatian five years ago.

In March 2022, however, she was invited to share the final moments of Alice, an “amazing” English staffy she fostered in 2017.

“Alice was surrendered at age 12, and had a cancerous lump on her chest which needed two surgeries to remove,” says Block. “She recovered, and was adopted by a Brisbane couple who gave her a loving home for five years.”

Block stayed in touch with Alice’s new owners, as well as regularly pet-sitting the beloved dog. Unfortunately her cancer returned, and she was put to sleep just before her 17th birthday.

“My mum and I were invited to say our goodbyes,” says Block. “But when the vet called her, Alice’s mum asked me if I wanted to be there at the end, and I felt privileged. Although it was sad it was a peaceful experience, and it was important to be there as Alice had been part of our lives.”

Lara Shannon, pet behaviourist expert, and her dogs' Bindi and Darcy.

Lara Shannon’s tips for saying goodbye:

● Try to remain calm. Holding back tears is hard, but uncontrollable crying makes it harder on your pet.

● While all the family may want to be present, this isn’t always possible, and it may not be the best thing for your pet. Take advice from your vet.

● Decide beforehand what you will do with your pet’s remains so you don’t make a decision you regret later.

● Be easy on yourself for deciding to euthanise your pet when they are suffering. Many people regret leaving it too long.