Top tips to avoid being the dud gift giver in your family

Sharing presents at Christmas is a time of joy and shows our appreciation and affection to those we love. So why do so many of us get gift giving wrong? See our tips to nail it this year.

It’s always the thought that counts but when a Christmas gift is a surprise for the wrong reason, the goodwill can soon turn sour.

So why do so many of us get gift giving wrong?

Relationship specialist Joanne Wilson says understanding the emotional value of a gift is the first step to getting it right.

“For those raised in a family culture that placed emphasis on displaying love through gifts, it signifies they are worthy of the time spent thoughtfully choosing a symbol of appreciation,” Wilson says. “But someone who was raised in a family culture that didn’t place the same value on gifts may feel ill-equipped for gift giving not realising their partner just wants to feel understood and valued.”

The simple solution for the person who doesn’t understand the importance of gifts is to ask what the other person would like. Or, make notes during the year of any hints.

You need to do some research and observe your loved ones before choosing a gift, or it may disappoint.

“My counselling room is overflowing with stories of forlorn spouses (usually women) who spend so much of their time organising gifts for their children, friends and spouse’s family that they long for some personalised appreciation in the form of a gift,” Wilson says.

“But it’s important to move away from the materialism mindset when gift giving. It’s more the time, thought and effort that goes into the gift that truly expresses the love, more than the object itself. A small, thoughtful gift or a voucher for a fun activity is a grander expression than maxing out your credit card.”

DO YOUR RESEARCH

As Sofitel Melbourne guest relations manager, Terence Murphy is an expert at buying gifts for VIP guests and says he takes time to observe and research. “But it’s also good to buy something off the beaten path they didn’t know they needed or wanted and that’s about going to a variety of shops and galleries and exploring,” Murphy says.

“I’d be mortified if I had to go online to buy a gift. It’s a shortcut that’s too easy. I do buy gift vouchers to a restaurant or wine bar for people I know well but even then, I physically go there. I know my friends will be looked after there and it’s a way of creating a memory which is always popular.”

Terence Murphy is the guest relations manager at the Sofitel Hotel.

At Chadstone, one of the largest shopping malls in the world, centre manager Daniel Boyle says shoppers spent $3.1m in Chadstone gift cards last November and December.

“More than 6000 cards were sold in the week before Christmas alone and we expect to see similar results this year,” Boyle says. “It’s convenient for the person buying the card and the receiver loves the flexibility of choice it brings.”

Boyle suggests shopping early to find the perfect gift but says some people thrive on the theatre and hustle of last-minute shopping.

“We’ve also noted growth in the popularity of Black Friday, changing Christmas shopping habits with a lot of people bringing their shopping forward to take advantage of those massive sales.’’

MAKE IT FUN

Ann Peacock, the daughter of former Liberal party leader Andrew Peacock and Lady Susan Renouf, is well-known for her beautiful gifts, and says Christmas gift giving should be fun, not super stressful.

“I’ve learned from my own past mistakes to focus on finding the simple joy in choosing presents for people I care about without feeling overwhelmed and seeing it as a chore,” Peacock says.

Ann Peacock with Santa Claus. She says gift giving should be fun.

Expert gift giver Tamara Jenkins says the key is to put herself into the recipient’s shoes. “It’s not about buying what I would like but about what I think the other person would like and may not think to buy for themselves,” Jenkins says.

“Also, it’s about loving the process of doing your research, wrapping gifts beautifully and I never give money. I like to give personal gifts and think money is just too impersonal. Gifts should have an element of surprise but it’s also nice to receive something you really wanted and requested.”

HOW TO GIFT WELL

• Create a budget and plan your gifts ahead of time.

• Where possible, avoid last-minute shopping.

• Once you’ve found the perfect gift, put in extra thought by wrapping it and sharing a thoughtful handwritten card.

• Homemade gifts such as using arts and craft so kids can help create are great for gift giving and give your family and friends an extra special feeling of care.

• Give to those in need.

Source: Kmart

Originally published as Top tips to avoid being the dud gift giver in your family