Joel Creasey: The night I got Patti and Bert Newton to do a ‘cool gig’

My finest Bert Newton story sums him up perfectly. We barely knew each other but within hours Patti said they’d be delighted to come to my mate’s 30th birthday, writes Joel Creasey.

Like the rest of Australia, I was devastated to hear of the passing of Australian showbiz royalty, legend and downright decent human Bert Newton at the weekend.

We grew up with Bert in the house. How could you not? The undisputed king of Aussie TV. It’s been lovely discovering that everybody has a Bert Newton story. And even better, every story has the same sentiment … he was bloody lovely.

I was lucky to have a few interactions with Bert. Every time, he’d tell me what a talent I am, how much he admired my comedy or how I’d remind him of a young Graham Kennedy. Now whether you like me or not, that’s by the by. But for a young performer like myself to hear this from someone so legendary as Bert was the fuel to keep pushing harder and harder.

My finest Bert story sums him up perfectly. A few years back one of my nearest and dearest, Thomas, was celebrating his 30th birthday. The theme was Australian TV icons and being the camp, performer-types that we are … we decided that instead of speeches we’d put on a “show”.

Australian TV, stage and radio entertainer Bert Newton with wife Patti. Picture: Getty

It was truly one of the most fun nights I’ve had out. People came as everything from Mr Squiggle to Blinky Bill to Jamie Durie (I was Jamie, an excuse to flash off my recent gym activity). Friends of Thomas including Rhonda Burchmore, Geraldine Quinn and Trevor Ashley jumped on stage.

I oversaw the running of the show and a few weeks prior I thought, “What the hell, I’ll email Patti Newton to see if I can get her there … what damage can it do?!”

We barely knew each other but within a few hours Patti emailed me saying she’d be delighted to be involved and … “would it be all right if Bert could come too as this sounds like something he’d love to do”.

Joel Creasey on Neighbours. Picture: Supplied

I almost fell off my chair. I wrote “YES YES YES”, told them I’d arrange a car to pick them up and see them on the night. I never thought they’d actually show up. Why would they? It wasn’t a paid gig. They didn’t even know us. I was wracked with nerves as people knew there’d be a “surprise” but I was horrified it would fall through. I couldn’t believe it when Bert and Patti Newton took the stage at close to midnight. They regaled the audience with stories for a good half an hour, sang happy birthday and Thomas’s grandma even fainted.

They didn’t do it for a thank you, money, praise or because it was a “cool gig”. They did it for the love of showbiz. So, thank you, Bert. Australia is a better place for having you.