Nadia Bokody on whether having a daily orgasm helps with sleep

Sex columnist Nadia Bokody went on a seven-day “orgasm diet” to see if she could cure her insomnia. The results were unexpected.

I once walked through the city in a “naked” suit.

I also may or may not have visited an illicit porn set, attended a swinger’s party (they prefer to call them “intimate adult events” these days), and tried coffee orgasms.

And I’ve done all these things in the name of work.

Truly, if my horny teenage self could see me now, she’d be thrilled (if not perplexed as to how I’d managed to convince anyone to pay me to do this stuff).

So, when my editor suggested I road-test a seven-day “orgasm diet” for better sleep this week, I didn’t blink an eye. I did, however, get straight to the business of shutting my eyes. (Sorry, that pun was far too enticing to pass up.)

Nadia Bokody was keen to test whether sex would be a potential solution to her insomnia. Picture: Instagram/@nadiabokody

Sleep is something that, as a self-admitted neurotic A-type personality, regularly eludes me.

As far as my brain is concerned, 1am is as good a time as any to start unpacking every anxious thought I’ve ever had and deconstructing it in painfully granular detail.

Why did I put more than three exclamation marks in my last email? Can you unsend an email? Should I Google how to unsend an email? Maybe if I don’t say anything, they won’t notice? OK, but also, maybe they’ll NEVER WORK WITH ME AGAIN and think I’m a DESPERATE, INSECURE, OVEREMPHATIC FOOL!

Yeah, being in my head is exhausting.

And trust me when I say I’ve tried everything – EVERYTHING – to calm the storm. Herbal supplements, teas, pharmaceuticals, bedroom mists and oils, body lotions and drinkable potions, meditation, night-time routines, sleep apps: I’ve been through them all with limited success.

All of them, that is, except an orgasm diet.

Nadia Bokody decided to try nightly orgasms to help her sleep. Picture: Instagram

Like most people, I’d heard the theory that getting off is good for encouraging shut-eye, and I’m certainly no stranger to drifting off post-nookie. So, I was keen to see if the post-coital Zs I’d caught in the past were a fluke, or indicative of a potential solution to my insomnia.

As it turns out, it could be the latter.

In a 2019 study conducted by Central Queensland University researchers, at least two-thirds of people reported experiencing better quality sleep after having an orgasm achieved via either partnered sex or masturbation. And this finding seems to align with the science around the release of so-called “love hormone” oxytocin during climax.

While oxytocin is best known for promoting feelings of closeness and bonding with a sexual partner, it has other benefits, too.

Research published in the Journal of Psychosomatic Medicine and Psychotherapy states, “Oxytocin can induce anti-stress-like effects such as reduction of blood pressure and cortisol levels.” And this is significant, given the established link between high cortisol (the “stress” hormone) and reduced sleep quality.

It would seem only logical then, that more orgasms would equal less stress, and consequently, less staring at my ceiling at 1am thinking about that time my Year Nine teacher muttered something under her breath, and I thought I heard my name.

So, I wasted no time in getting down to business and getting off – and also, getting off to sleep.

In an effort to keep things as uniform as possible, I set a reminder on my phone to have some *ahem* alone time with my hand (and, every so often, a handheld device) each night, and very unscientifically recorded the approximate time I felt drowsy, any occasions I woke, and roughly when I woke up.

The first two nights were frustratingly unsuccessful.

Not only did I not fall asleep any earlier than usual, I felt wired well into the early hours of the morning. However, I’d also flicked on some RedTube to ‘aid’ the process, and given the well-known negative impact the infamous blue light emitted by our phone screens can have on melatonin (sleep hormone) production, I resolved to carry out the rest of the experiment sans X-rated video material.

As an avid porn consumer, it admittedly took me a lot longer to get to the Big Oh without anything to watch (and also made me aware of how much I rely on visual stimuli to reach climax on my own), but after I did, I was noticeably drowsy.

On the third and fourth nights, I continued to wake up in the middle of the night with my usual 3am anxiety. However, by the last couple of nights of the experiment, I was sleeping all the way through.

Was there a placebo effect involved? Look, it’s quite possible.

Studies in which people are prescribed faux treatments they’re told will cure a host of conditions have repeatedly shown when we believe something will work, it often does. And if believing in the power of orgasms is bad, then honestly, I don’t want to be good.

But placebo effects and my amateur experiment aside, there’s an undeniable growing body of research to suggest orgasms have benefits that go well beyond making us feel really, really good.

I think the key question here is, will I keep it up?

And the answer is, quite frankly, no. I don’t always have the time – or the energy – to get off before bed. But I’ll certainly be reaching for one of my *ahem* handheld devices next time I have an early morning start.

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Originally published as Nadia Bokody on whether having a daily orgasm helps with sleep