Phoebe Burgess breaks down recalling moment she discovered Sam’s affair

Phoebe Burgess has given a tear-filled interview detailing the heartbreaking moment her NRL star husband Sam Burgess “broke” her.

Phoebe Burgess has broken down revealing the moment in her four-year marriage to former NRL star Sam Burgess that “broke” her.

After bravely breaking her silence last month on what she described as the code’s culture of misogyny, lies and cover-ups, the mum-of-two and former journalist opened up about the realisation that her relationship was not all she’d once hoped for in a candid new chat on Mamamia’s No Filter podcast.

Speaking with host Mia Freedman, Phoebe said there wasn’t “an exact moment” she realised the marriage wouldn’t last, but broke down recalling the night she found out Sam had had an affair with a Melbourne woman in 2017.

The discovery came after she found out he had exposed himself to a 23-year-old woman during a series of sexually charged video calls that included other Rabbitohs players.

“I was the ultimate defender of my husband. I believed that he’d been made a victim. And then came the night where the next woman had decided she was going to tell the next story as well, that my husband had had an affair while he was captaining England in 2017, while I was travelling around the country without daughter to watch his games,” she said, audibly overcome with emotion.

“And that night, that night broke me.”

Sam Burgess and Phoebe Hooke at their December 2015 Bowral wedding. Picture: Supplied

The couple split after four years of marriage in October 2019. Picture: Instagram

Phoebe said there were “moments along the way” that ultimately led to the relationship breaking down, and used an analogy to explain the strain that wore down her and Sam’s marriage.

“I couldn’t give you an exact moment. All I can say … is that analogy of the frog. You throw a frog in boiling water it’s going to scream. If you turn the heat up slowly, it stays there and it just cooks alive and that’s – little things started adding up,” she said.

“And I wish, I wish I’d listened to what my body was telling me. I became extremely anxious after having my daughter, after having back surgery, to the point where I couldn’t drive. I was just afraid of driving. And that’s something that was never part of my personality. I couldn’t drive on a highway without feeling as though I wasn’t in control.

“And I think those were symptoms of what I was starting to go through emotionally and mentally. I was starting to – I felt – lose myself.”

Phoebe revealed she had hoped her marriage would be more like that of her parents, Mitch and Sarah Hooke. Picture: Ryan Pierse/Getty Images

Phoebe revealed she had hoped her marriage would be more like that of her parents, Mitch and Sarah Hooke.

“I grew up with a really steady marriage and relationship and household around me. So my view and my background told me hat marriage was the next step, and that there were going to be ups and downs, but you get through it, but you look after each other,” she said.

“And the biggest, most fundamental ingredient that I saw in my parents’ marriage was mutual respect. Regardless of who earned the money, regardless of who’s having the children, there was a mutual respect for each other’s role in that relationship and in that marriage, and they were fundamentally equal … That’s what I thought I was entering into.”

In her October interview with the

Weekend Australian, Phoebe described discovering her husband had cheated as “probably the worst night of my life”, saying she “felt physical pain when I found out”.

, Phoebe described discovering her husband had cheated as “probably the worst night of my life”, saying she “felt physical pain when I found out”.

Sam, who appeared on and won this year’s series of Channel 7’s SAS Australia, was probed about his infidelity and other past controversies while on the show.

“They found cocaine in my system while I was driving my car. Pretty embarrassing. Pretty embarrassed about that,” he said.

“The last 18 months, I felt like a loser. My marriage broke down. I’d just retired from sport. My ex father-in-law had taken an AVO against me. … Two days after I retired, I separated my marriage.”

“Was it already on its way out?” one of the soldiers asked.

“Yeah, a little bit, yeah. I don’t think I was the greatest husband at times. I embarrassed my wife. I had an affair with a girl – a woman in Melbourne. Yeah. It’s true. I was away on tour. Regretful that it happened.”

Originally published as Phoebe Burgess breaks down recalling moment she discovered Sam’s affair