Woman tells vegan sister she can't serve only vegan food at family reunion

One commenter slammed the poster: "You wouldn’t go somewhere a Muslim is hosting and expect them to still serve pork to you. It's the same. Just go with it."

In the midst of organising an annual family reunion, one woman has been faced with a dilemma. 

Should she speak up about her sister's intended 'all-vegan' menu for the event, or let it slide?

Taking to the Am I The A**hole forum, the woman explained how the family rotate hosting duties and this year it's the turn of the younger sister, a committed vegan of three years. 

"She's quite passionate about it and we all respect her choices and make sure there are a good variety of vegan options whenever we have family gatherings," she said. 

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"The entire menu would be vegan to align with her beliefs"

However, when the sister announced that she was hosting, she decided that "the entire menu would be vegan to align with her beliefs and said that it's a chance for the family to try something different."

While some family members were excited, others, including the OP and many of the older relatives, were pretty upset and felt like they were being forced into her lifestyle, even if just for one meal.

Seeking a compromise, the OP spoke to her sister privately to see if she'd be open to including a few non-vegan dishes for those who weren't keen on the full vegan thing.

However, it didn't go down too well as "she got quite defensive, saying this was her chance to showcase veganism and that for one meal, everyone can give it a go."

Now torn between respecting her sister's personal choices and advocating for family inclusivity, the OP wants to know how she should proceed. 

"I respect her beliefs, but I also think that forcing an entire family to adopt her choices, even if just for one meal, isn't fair. She's now upset with me for not being supportive and says I'm not respecting her choices," the woman concluded. 

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"It's just one meal!"

The unfolding debate in the comments didn't help the OP much, instead, it just provided even more issues for consideration. 

"Honestly, I think you're the a**hole. Not in a big way, I get it’s not what you usually look forward to or are used to with meals. But it’s one meal! I grew up with two vegetarian friends and when they had me over, even as a kid, I knew I shouldn’t expect or ask for meat," the top comment with 13.1k likes read. 

It continued, "You say you respect her beliefs but want her to go against them for you all in her own home. Veganism is based on a strongly held personal belief related to their morals, and in that way is similar to religion. You wouldn’t go somewhere a Muslim is hosting and expect them to still serve pork to you because YOU love and eat it.

"You’re asking her to put aside her beliefs for your taste."

Another pointed out that "vegans 'can't' eat meat. Whereas omnivores certainly can eat something without meat."

A third wrote," You're expecting a vegan to purchase and/or prepare meat! Unbelievable. It's her home and her choice, they don't have to attend if they're so offended by eating vegetables for ONE meal."

"It's one meal, and she'll be serving food that everyone can eat, and it's perfectly possible for her to be an amazing host without catering to people's preference for meat dishes," added a different commenter. 

"It’s part reunion party, part evangelising"

On the other hand, others pointed out the sister's double standards. One person wrote, "The sister is accommodated at everyone else’s house, but she has no interest in reciprocating that courtesy. 

"Also, she’s not being a great host in that you want your guests to be comfortable. All the rules that would apply to her being taken care of at others' houses apply to her hosting as well.

"Finally, she’s using the meal to 'showcase' veganism- so it’s part reunion party, part evangelising. Neat."

And finally, this user said, "I get your point, your sister seems to be capitalising on this event to preach her lifestyle. I would suggest a potluck, so everyone can bring what they want."

Originally published as Woman tells vegan sister she can't serve only vegan food at family reunion