Wife confesses she didn't give her husband time off on Father's Day

"He just kept freaking out about how he's at his wit's end and he needs a break," the mum of three says.

A woman has confessed that she failed to give her husband any time for himself on Father's Day, leaving him furious.

Mum Kylie*, 33, asked the Reddit forum AITA (Am I The Asshole) if she could have made more effort for Tom* on the special day, explaining that she had recently had a c-section.

The couple is still on maternity and paternity leave following the birth of their one-month-old, and they also have older children.

Kylie revealed that it has been a challenge to make her 36-year-old husband a priority while she heals from her operation, as she needs some extra help around the house and also can't leave home without assistance.

Want to join the family? Sign up to our Kidspot newsletter for more stories like this.

"It's wearing on him mentally and physically"

"I am currently still recovering from my planned c-section and it is taking a lot longer than I had hoped," she said.

"I am not on bedrest, but pretty darn close. Unless it's to go to the bathroom or changing or feeding my baby, I'm pretty much always sitting or laying down."

She said her husband has been doing a great job of looking after the older children as well as the baby, and helping their lives to run as smoothly as possible.  However, it's taking a toll on him.

"But I can tell it's starting to wear on him mentally and physically," she said.

"Neither of us is sleeping well and I swear he looks like he's lost more weight than I have since the baby came."

'I couldn't plan anything special on Father's Day'

She felt bad for being unable to plan a special Father's Day for her spouse.

"I wasn't able to plan anything really fun for Father's Day," Kylie said. "I did help the older kids make him cards and ordered him some nice steaks to cook though.

"I felt bad because for Mother's Day he bought me a six-hour pregnancy spa treatment and took the older kids out of the house all day so I could have peace."

Kylie said on the morning of Father's Day, she had aggravated her incision after straining to pick something off the floor so she was feeling worse than usual and was laid up all day. This meant Tom was left to do everything, again.

Tears and screams were to come

"By the time he got the older kids to bed, I could tell he was irritated and upset. I told him to try and relax for a bit, but then the baby started fussing and he jumped up off the couch, grabbed a pillow, and screamed into it.

"I tried to calm him down, but he just kept freaking out about how he's at his wit's end and he needs a break and that I couldn't even find a way to give him a single hour of quiet on Father's Day."

He took care of the baby, came back and apologised after she had burst into tears, saying he was "just disappointed that his Father's Day was spent running around doing everything for everyone else, didn't even get to cook his steaks, he ate cold pizza for dinner".

When asked what she could have done, given how she was immobile, Tom replied she could have looked into a sitter for the kids "or made them sit with me and watch a movie for an hour so he could have just a sliver of time for himself".

The couple has a one-month-old baby, as well as other kids. Photo: iStock

RELATED: 58 best ideas for Father’s Day gifts this year

'He's crying out for help'

Commenters were divided on whether she was an as*hole for failing to give her husband time off on Father's Day.

"Husband is making a cry for help, you should have found a way to offload the kids and give him a day off," one Reddit user wrote.

"Hey but at least she ordered some steaks so that he could cook them by himself. Seriously at least order food in from a nice restaurant or something to make it feel special," another said.

A third commented: "You did nothing for him on Father's Day, you couldn't even make sure he had time to cook and eat the meal you tried to get for him, that would have been the bare minimum. You dropped the ball, you failed him, and he's upset about it. My heart broke for your husband reading this."

While a Reddit user offered some tips: "We live in the internet age. While sitting all day, you could have ordered a cool gift from Amazon, booked something fun for him, and recruited some friends or family to come over and help with the kids. Your husband sounds like a very stand up guy, and you are treating him like poop. (I’ve had two c-sections, just for context)."

'Give yourself a break'

However, others were more understanding of the mum's position.

"You had major surgery and you both have a newborn ... there are going to be a lot of moments where emotions get the better of you. Hindsight says that you could have done things differently, but he also has to understand that a one-month-old, and post op wife in June means he should probably 'write this Father's Day off'."

"I can't imagine the amount of physical pain you're in, nor the amount of mental and emotional stress you are both undergoing. I don't think you're an a*shole for not planning some elaborate Father's Day thing for him under the circumstances, nor is he for getting overwhelmed and upset. Some situations in life just suck, and neither party can be at their best."

"Two stressed and overwhelmed parents, dealing with a newborn and birth complications. He apologised and started making a plan to mitigate the stress. You asked what you were supposed to do, he gave a suggestion, reach out to family for help. I don't think anyone is wrong here."

* Names have been changed.

Originally published as Wife confesses she didn't give her husband time off on Father's Day