'We tried pethood before parenthood'

"I know some argue parenting pets is not the same as humans, but I've found many of the skills and lessons learnt as a pet-parent have been surprisingly helpful."

I still remember the very distinct, warm meow I heard when I first met my adopted ginger boy, Lego from a local shelter over 15 years ago. 

Adopting a cat was an easy decision for me (not so much for my husband who was allergic - very minor allergies- I’m not a horrible person)). Nevertheless, he was on board and very quickly stepped into the fur-father role as if he was just meant to do it.

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Like many couples, whether intentional or not, we opted for pethood before parenthood (humankind).

It wasn’t an actual discussion like, “Hey let’s try out a pet before the real deal”. Because firstly, I love animals more than most humans and I know this is not a responsible decision.

But also, because I wasn’t even contemplating human children, at least not consciously. I just wanted a cat and I wanted to help one who needed it. And well my husband, he probably just went along because he is lovely.

Like many couples though, pets often find their way into our homes, not too long before human kids too. Like some sort of evolutionary pathway, we decide to become pet-parents before human parents.

I know some people argue very vehemently, that parenting pets is not the same as humans but in my case at least, I have found that many of the skills and lessons learnt as a pet-parent were very much applicable to parenting both species.

Image: Supplied

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Lesson 1 – Lack of sleep.

Younger cats, and newborns, don’t sleep. Well, at least ours didn’t.

When Lego decided that his favourite place to nap was next to me and sharing my pillow, this meant I often found myself forced off the pillow and onto the mattress, not sleeping. Then when he decided it was playtime, or food time, which often occurred in the middle of the night, well that meant waking us (mostly me) up too.

A few years later, working through this continual night waking and heavy fog of fatigue would come in handy with my eldest who acted in a very similar way.

Lesson 2- they rely on you.

As a person in my twenties, I came to be quite independent and self-reliant and while I wouldn’t say I was selfish, I definitely did put number one, first.

Enter Lego. The ginger furball quickly reminded me that I wasn’t number one, instead, I was there to serve him.

Pats, being picked up, fed, watered, toilet changed, playtime – does this sound familiar human parents?

Lego was so loved. Image: supplied

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Lesson 3- No two are the same.

When Lego was joined by her adopted sister, Tonka, it became clear that my dream of cat buddies wasn’t going to occur and that like people, cat’s personalities are their own.

Tonka and Lego did not get along. Lego was mean (it’s true buddy), Tonka was timid and while they eventually coexisted, they remained quite different with their distinct personalities. Tonka did not appreciate being picked up, she liked lap naps but only when she decided, and she was much more independent.

Now, my two human children do get along quite well but personality-wise- night and day. What works for one, not so much the other and sometimes figuring this out is hard.

Again though, thanks to two furbabies, I was made privy to this beforehand and could act accordingly, often still incorrectly but accordingly, nonetheless.

Lesson 4- They love you unconditionally.

It’s true, their love isn’t determined by external or superficial factors, just you and who you are.

They don’t judge you; they are there for you when times are tough, they are loyal and they just get you, you are their person.

Our kids, well it’s the same thing (most of the time). They know you’re there to support, protect and love them and they show this by turning to you when they need it, warm hugs, sneaking into your bed at night, drawing your picture at school, holding your hand, telling you their exciting news first, sharing their fears and being there for you when you need it too.

While yes, there are differences, like cats vomit up hairballs and humans, generally just their food (this comparison is a joke just FYI) but for the most part, the skills are transferrable. And with that, thanks furbabies for not only being wonderful and invaluable members of our family but for all you teach us along the way (it comes in handy).

Originally published as 'We tried pethood before parenthood'