My partner wants to break up unless I put my daughter up for adoption

"He said if I didn't have a kid, he would commit and start a life with me," the mum explained. 

A mum has taken to a relationship advice forum to explain how her 'dream partner' wants her to put her three-year-old daughter up for adoption. 

The anonymous woman, 38, shared that her boyfriend of just 10 months, 32, has even threatened to break up with her if she doesn't go ahead with it. 

Apparently, he doesn't want the responsibility of "raising another man's child", especially one that was conceived out of wedlock. 

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"He said if I didn't have a kid, he would commit and start a life with me"

Taking to the r/relationship_advice thread, the mum explained how she would never put her daughter up for adoption, but she still wants to stay with her boyfriend. 

She says that he's "financially stable and reliable" which are her ideal characteristics in a partner. 

In addition, they also have "amazing chemistry" and he even gets on well with her daughter and formed a close bond.

Things were going great until he sat her down one day for a chat and basically gave her an ultimatum: put her daughter up for adoption or I'm leaving.

His justification was that since she was born out of wedlock and isn't in contact with her dad, he believes that the situation is "messy" and one he "didn't deserve to deal with."

He suggested, "I allow my sister or a close family member who I trust to adopt my daughter so that I can still see her, just not daily.

"He also told me that if I didn’t have a kid, he would commit and start a life with me. I feel as if I am in emotional shock right now, almost like someone who I really loved died," she continued. 

"My daughter is innocent and didn’t do anything wrong, she also became really attached to him and the fact that he just wants to get rid of her is shocking, indicating that he couldn’t care less about her.

"I still have hope that I can possibly convince him to accept my daughter and continue his life with me, but right now I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place."

The little girl is quite fond of him, but the feeling is not mutual. Image: iStock

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"I would drop them immediately"

People were understandably outraged by the boyfriend's request and over 5000 comments came flooding in. 

"If this is your dream partner you might want to set your aspirations a little higher," one person frankly told the OP. A second chimed in, "You need to go back to sleep and dream up something better because this guy sucks."

"He said he wanted you to give away your child and you’re still trying to make it work?" said another. 

Then this person wrote: "I don’t even have a kid, but if I did and someone said that to me I would drop them immediately."

"Not only does he not love your child but he considers your life a mess that he doesn't deserve to deal with. That's all pretty gross of him to say. The bar can't be that low..." a different comment read.

Someone else concluded: "When someone is like 'Hey, I’m a monster'... believe them."

Originally published as My partner wants to break up unless I put my daughter up for adoption