My grandma and mum used to shoplift all the time when I was growing up

"I was horrified and ashamed when I found out."

I was going through some of my childhood treasures recently and I pulled out an old wooden duck. I have vague recollections of playing with it when I was little.

As I looked down at it fondly, a sense of nostalgia coming over me, I asked my mum who gave it to me? 

"Granny did," she said. "She stole it."  

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So, I come from a long line of kleptomaniacs?

I thought I’d misheard.

"She what?" I replied.

"She stole it from a department store for you when you were little," my mum said.

I felt horrified and tried to ask why she would do that? 

My mum explained casually that back then, our family didn't have much money, so she and my grandma used to go on a shopping spree using the old five-finger discount.

Image: Supplied

They’d come home with clothes, food items, or when the occasion called for it… toys for us kids.

Awesome, I thought. So, I come from a long line of kleptomaniacs? I thought it was just alcoholism that ran in our family, but no. We seem to have a penchant for thieving, too.

If I’m being completely honest, my slate isn't 100% clear on that front either. I’d be a hypocrite if I claimed otherwise.

Once, when I was 8, I helped myself to some lollies in Target. Our local store had those lolly dispensers where you could fill a plastic cup up with a range of sweets.

My friends and I decided to fill up a container and walk around the store eating the lollies. At first, it felt fun and like a game. It gave us a rush.

But, after a few minutes, the store manager asked what the hell we were doing?

“Um, we were going to pay for it,” my friend replied coyly.

“Then come and pay,” he said.

I felt mortified.

“Ah, to clarify, we don’t have the money to pay for it, but we were going to go and get some from our parents and come back.”

The store manager let us off and told us not to do it again, but I never went back into that shop again. I was so ashamed. 

Image: Supplied

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Now that I have kids of my own, I'm going to drill into them why stealing hurts

Another time, when I was about 16, I felt peer pressured to shoplift. 

A lot of my high school friends were doing it, so I caved.

One day after school, I walked out of a clothing shop with a singlet in my backpack, my heart pounding so heavily in my chest, waiting for a buzzer to go off and for me, the straight A student, to be arrested.

I wasn’t apprehended, but I remember the shame and feeling so guilty afterwards. That destruction of integrity and values. I never did end up wearing the singlet, and I vowed to never steal again.

Now that I have kids of my own, I'm going to drill into them why stealing hurts both parties and what the legal consequences are. I think it’s important, especially given my family's history.

My husband and I both have businesses of our own, and I can’t imagine how it would feel to have someone steal from us. To take away something we’d earned and worked so hard to get.

We all make mistakes in life and sometimes good people make bad choices. I like to think that was the case for my grandma and mum. The most important thing is to learn from our mistakes and to do better the next time around, especially when it comes to future generations. 

Originally published as My grandma and mum used to shoplift all the time when I was growing up