My final wish is for my daughter’s father to be back home with us before I die

“The fear of dying from this horrible disease is bad enough, but the thought of leaving my 10yo daughter without a parent in the same country as her is a nightmare I live with every day.”

Alexandra Feiam

5 min read

June 28, 2024 - 1:22PM

Family of dad who died from lung cancer say hospital mistakes cost him his life

Family Life

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When Miriam met Diav on holiday in Indonesia, she knew she met someone special.

Two years after meeting in 2012, Miriam and Diva welcomed their daughter, Mahayla, to the world.

A year later, in 2015, the couple were married, ready to start the next step of their lives together as a family. Now, they’re facing their hardest chapter yet.

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Miriam and Diva had Mahayla in 2014. Picture: Supplied

“We didn’t even know when we'll see each other again”

Diva relied on a travel visa to travel between his native Indonesia and Australia, which only allowed him to visit for three months at a time.

The months would fly by, and, in a flash, they would find themselves back at the airport, waving goodbye.

Each time he had to return to Bali, it was like a knife piercing through Miriam’s chest.

“It broke our hearts, as we never knew if or when he would be able to return,” she told Kidspot.

Whenever Diva was unable to fly to Australia, Miriam would try her best to get Mayhayla and herself to Bali, but the cost of flights quickly added up. Being the sole provider of the family, Miriam would put everything she earned into flights to Indonesia, all while raising little Mahayla.

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Then the pandemic hit.

The family were in Bali celebrating Mahalya’s birthday when the news broke; the borders were shutting, flights were getting cancelled, and the mother and daughter needed to get home.

Leaving Diva again was “horrendous”. “We didn’t even know when we'd see each other again,” she recalled. “We never thought it’d be three years.”

For three years, Diva was separated from his wife and daughter, and they were only able to connect via video calls. “Thank goodness for video calling,” she laughed. “Lifesaver, that is!”

While Diva was in Indonesia, Miriam was back in Australia with Mahayla, working tirelessly to raise her daughter.

Miriam and Mahayla didn't see Diva for three years. Picture: Supplied

Then, the family was dealt another major blow.

Miriam was donating plasma at the height of the pandemic but received a letter shortly later instructing her to visit a doctor as soon as possible.

“And they sent out a whole heap of paperwork with test results and all that on it,” she told Kidspot. Tests later showed Miriam had monoclonal gammopathy, a condition where there’s an abnormal amount of protein found in blood.

In rare circumstances, this condition can evolve into Smoldering Multiple Myeloma, a precursor to the rare blood cancer known as multiple myeloma.

“It very, very rarely turns into Smoldering Multiple Myeloma,” she said. “And I was that lucky one.”

While she learned this harrowing news, her husband Diva was still in Indonesia, unable to support his wife and child while they grappled with the news.

But Miriam kept fighting, taking now-10-year-old Mahayala to her netball games three times a week, which she helps umpire. “She does like three-to-four hours dancing on a Tuesday night,” she said.

The couple have travelled backwards and forwards for years. Picture: Supplied

“Yes, mum is really sick, and there's no cure”

A smile ray of light started to shine last week when Diva arrived on Australian soil for the first time in three years. However, this is his second last visit on his tourist visa, which he received before the pandemic.

He will only be able to stay for three months; then, he will only have one visit left.

For now, he can see his daughter off to school every day and enjoy quality time with the family.

If he wants to stay here longer, he must apply for a permanent visa before December, which is likely to set the family back $15,000 for the application and legal advice. That way, he can stay in the country on a bridging visa.

But as Miriam’s condition worsens, so do the problems.

“My haematologist discussed the possibility of stem cell transplant at my last appointment, which would mean a stay of three weeks in the Peter Mac Hospital,” she said.

As Diva is unable to work on a tourist visa, they are relying on a single income, meaning Miriam is unable to take time off work for her treatment.

Without Diva by her side, their daughter won’t have a parent to support her.

“The other day, Mahayla found out I was sick,” she revealed, explaining how her daughter had started to feel melancholy at school, prompting the teacher to call the Melbourne woman for help.

When Miriam revealed her diagnosis, the teacher was “shocked”. Then, she had to sit Mahayla down and tell her what was happening.

“Yes, mum is really sick,” she told the 10yo. “And there's no cure.”

“That, pretty much, was the hardest conversation I've ever had in my life.”

Mahayla doesn't want her daughter ripped away from her life in Australia. Picture: Supplied

But while she puts on a happy face for Mahayla, the cracks are starting to show.

“With all the challenges of normal day-to-day life being hard enough, I really really need my husband here to support both Mahayla and me, not only emotionally, but financially, too,” she said.

“The fear of dying from this horrible disease is bad enough, but the thought of leaving my 10-year-old daughter without a parent in the same country as her is a nightmare I live with every day.”

And if the worst were to happen, Miriam is afraid of her daughter’s future.

If she stays in Australia, she might not have her father by her side, but if she has to move to Indonesia, she’ll be “ripped away” from everything she knows.

“I want my daughter to have a parent in the same country as her,” Miriam said. “So she doesn't get sent to Bali to live. She doesn't speak Indonesian.

“How does this child get sent there to live with her dad but can't go to school because she doesn't speak Indonesian?”

Miriam's own mother passed away when she was only 11 years old, leaving behind an enormous hole. "I didn't have my dad around

She was raised by her older sister, who she ended up "resenting". "She was my sister, not my mum," she said. "I've got two older girls. I want that for Mahayla. No, that's not the way it should be. She should be allowed to have her dad with her."

Miriam has set up a GoFundMe campaign to support her medical journey and fight for Diva’s chance to stay in the country. You can find out more about the fundraiser here.