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'My ex is putting our kids lives at risk'

“He doesn’t get to take them to the beach anymore until he can learn to be a responsible adult.”

Bess* is worried Derek* isn't taking good enough care of their kids at the beach. Picture: iStock
Bess* is worried Derek* isn't taking good enough care of their kids at the beach. Picture: iStock

Bess* has a dilemma.

She has three boys with her ex-partner Derek*, and shares custody with the children’s father.

Recently, her boys told her Derek frequently takes them to the beach and leaves them unsupervised on the sand while he goes off to enjoy a surf.

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“I brought it up with hi, said that this is not okay, it is not safe, and they need active supervision in public, especially near the ocean,” Bess said.

“He is brushing it off, making it out like I’m causing a fuss over nothing.

“He’s saying ‘it’s fine, I am watching them, they’re fine’.

“I’m just so angry and so nervous to leave them in his care again.”

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Bess* is worried Derek* isn't taking good enough care of their kids at the beach. Picture: iStock
Bess* is worried Derek* isn't taking good enough care of their kids at the beach. Picture: iStock

"This is a brain dead take"

Bess took to online forum Reddit with her problem, asking for advice as to how to make Derek see that leaving the children unattended is far from okay.

As rare as it may be, the internet was in full agreement over how Bess should deal with the issue.

“What? The ocean kills full grown adults all the time,” one person wrote.

“This is a brain dead take, especially on a beach with enough action to allow for surfing.

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“Even if they’re ‘fine’, what if something happens to Dad out in the surf? Dude is either naive or crazy selfish.”

“Coast Guard member here. I’ve had people slip under the water no more than 20 metres away, and we either recovered their bodies days later or never,” another person wrote.

“Water is indifferent towards your life and will kill you in the blink of an eye. Even if a 4yo can swim competently, leaving them alone on the beach with siblings, NO WAY. I would be livid.”

“This is absolutely not fine,” a third person wrote. “If he’s surfing then he’s not actively watching them and able to intervene if something happens.

“There should always be an adult actively present with kids that age, he can’t expect them to always listen or the 8-year-old to babysit the others.”

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"He doesn't get to take them to the beach anymore"

Other people shared their own terrifying water experiences as more proof of how irresponsible dad was.

“I went to Mexico when I was 9 and my mum wasn’t paying attention when a huge wave took me down and carried me pretty far away,” one person wrote.

“I went black - totally unconscious, and don’t remember anything after the wave.

“When I woke up, some foreign lady was running down the beach with me in her arms. I remember her screaming.

“What if that lady’s flight had been delayed and she wasn’t there? One small thing, and I wouldn’t be here typing this.

“If I see your husband or anyone else leaving small children alone on the beach, I’m calling the cops. Even if his eyes were on them the entire time he’s surfing, he wouldn’t be able to get to them fast enough in a drowning emergency.

“He doesn’t get to take them to the beach anymore until he can learn to be a responsible adult.”

*Names have been changed

Originally published as 'My ex is putting our kids lives at risk'

Original URL: https://www.heraldsun.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/my-ex-is-putting-our-kids-lives-at-risk/news-story/8ab25238de87f1895e17cd26c34a9db3