Mum slams ‘traditional men’s hobbies’ that put a strain on women’s mental load

“I go to yoga for an hour and I typically do it before my kids are awake, not at 2pm on a Saturday for four hours.”

The mum-of-four argued men's hobbies take much longer than women's hobbies. Picture: sheisapaigeturner/TikTok

A mum has launched a fierce debate after arguing the harsh discrepancies between traditional men’s and women’s hobbies. 

Paige, a mum-of-four, runs a TikTok account where she shares the highs and lows of motherhood, exposing the “mental load” women often carry.

However, a recent video explaining how men’s and women’s hobbies differ once they get married and have kids fuelled a fiery discussion online. 

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Women’s hobbies “often revolve” around their partner and kids

She began the video by saying, “Male hobbies typically take them outside of the home during the daytime, during caretaking hours.” 

“Female hobbies often revolve around the schedules of their partner and their children.” 

She argued that women typically “account for the domestic labour that they are handling and any kind of mental load that they carry.”  

For example, a “traditional men’s hobby” would include a game of golf, rock climbing or training for a marathon, all of which are “incredibly long activities and they take you outside the house during caretaking hours.” 

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This is especially important, she stressed, “because [these hobbies] typically cannot be done at night.” 

In contrast, Paige argued that women’s hobbies “can be done in a short period of time,” such as gardening, participating in a book club, or painting.  

“Even yoga,” she continued. “I love yoga, but I go to yoga for an hour, and I typically do it before my kids are awake or when they’re in bed, not at 2pm on a Saturday for four hours.”

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Paige argued that women are “required to typically work our hobbies around the schedules of our families,” whereas hobbies that men typically take up “take them away from that.” 

The mum-of-four believed the reason for this is because men will “gain free time” once they’re married, and “women lose free time” as they take on the “unpaid labour and mental load at home".

Men, she continued, have the capacity to get out of the house and undertake these hobbies because they “have support at home.” 

“Most females do not feel like they have the same support,” she added. 

A 2021 report from the Australian Institute of Family Studies found that 78 per cent of mums “always or usually” carry the mental load in the family. 

When it comes to splitting up household tasks, the study also revealed that 74 per cent of men were “satisfied or very satisfied” with the distribution, compared to 52 per cent of women. 

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Paige argued many women don't have the same support men do at home. Picture: sheisapaigeturner/TikTok

“My hobby is taking my toddler to his hobbies”

The video quickly attracted the attention of both sides of the argument, with some praising Paige for speaking out about the hypocrisy. 

“Thank you for articulating my frustration,” wrote a fan. “My hobbies are gardening, sewing, knitting. His are hunting and fishing. I don’t get nearly enough time.” 

“This is so true,” another agreed. “With my first husband, I joined indoor soccer leagues, and he would get upset that I wasn’t there to make him Sunday dinner.” 

“My in-laws criticised me for having hobbies (sewing, gardening, baking) cuz they thought it took much time away from my husband [and] the kids,” a mum said.

Some joked that they didn’t have a hobby at all. 

“What are hobbies?” someone laughed. “My hobby is taking my toddler to his hobbies,” joked another. 

Fans pointed out a particularly popular hobby that Paige missed, which requires plenty of time, but is typically an indoor-only activity: gaming. 

One woman said her husband’s hobby was “gaming after work,” meaning he is “home but not available.” 

“Is there really a difference between him being outside the house or glued to his game?” someone asked. 

It’s important to remember that not all men act this way, as many pointed out. 

“Yeah, I definitely did not get more free time after getting married,” a dad hit back. 

“This should be a fairly easy problem to solve for couples who communicate and plan their week ahead of time,” argued another. “Just talk to them.”

“As a father of six, I have no hobbies,” a third wrote. “My wife games quite a bit. She has set times she begins and it runs for many hours. I watch the babies.”

“This is an interesting take,” someone else added. “Most men I know though are begging their wives to take up a hobby in general so they can reciprocate the caretaking time.”

Originally published as Mum slams ‘traditional men’s hobbies’ that put a strain on women’s mental load