Maggie Dent shares a teacher’s emotional plea to parents of teenagers
"I want to tell you a few things about your child,” the post begins.
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One of Australia’s most well loved podcasters, authors and educators Maggie Dent has shared some wise words from an experienced teacher about the things that parents don’t always realise about our teenage kids.
The grandma and mum of four, Maggie Dent has become Australia’s ‘Queen of Common Sense’ thanks to her firm but fair parenting advice that resonates with so many - myself included.
Writing on Facebook to her over 360 thousand followers, Maggie said of the emotional post: “So much truth in this beautiful message from a teacher of middle school,” before linking to the short letter written by teacher, mum and writer, Lori Singaraju.
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" A sweaty mass of hormones"
The letter begins by addressing parents of teenagers (like me), and reassuring them that it is not one of “those types of letters” that involves instruction or advice from a teacher.
“I just want to tell you a few things you may or may not know about your child,” Lori writes, leading the reader to wonder what on earth she has to say about teenagers that us parents have not already read.
“I know things are likely a bit rough at home now that your child is a sweaty mass of hormones and nonsense Tik Tok slang. Let me clear a few things up for you.
“They love you so much. No kidding. They write about you in their journals. If I ask them who they admire, what they’re thankful for, even if they could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, fictional or nonfictional: They pick you.”
Cue us parents of teens wiping away those first tears.
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"They worry alot"
Lori’s beautiful and highly reassuring letter goes on to explain the sides of our teenagers we don’t often get to see - the students and citizens outside of our homes.
“They worry a lot about letting you down. Some of them really feel like they can never, ever be good enough for you.
“You want to look out for that. It’s really hard on them.”
Lori goes on to include some funny teen tips we parents could probably take on board.
“They can’t pause their video games when they’re playing online,” Lori writes.
“This is a top thing they wish adults understood. Apparently you tell them to pause their game and take out the trash or whatever and they need you to understand that online games don’t pause. So there you go. I passed it along.
“[the word]’skibidi’ comes from a YouTube show. They use it to mean bad. Except the ones who use it to mean good. It’s kind of all purpose. The important thing to note is that if you’re tired of hearing skibidi all of the time, start saying it yourself. It immediately becomes uncool.”
Duly noted Ms.Singaraju.
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"They are mostly wonderful"
She goes on to sing their praises but also to remind us how brutal the teenage years can be.
“They are funny. And insightful, bright, quirky, sweet, silly, and mostly wonderful.
“They are often very mean to each other.They have poor impulse control and are extremely self-conscious and often think they can make themselves look better by making someone else look worse.
“They’re not sociopaths.
“They’ll learn more social skills and their brains will finish developing and they will adjust to their new hormonal reality. It’s still hard in the meantime though.
“They do need to experience the consequences of their actions. If you swoop in to blame others and remove any sort of accountability from your child, you are not doing him or her a service.”
After giving parents advice on making them do their maths homework and showing some interest in the stuff that lights them up and lying being a normal teenage habit, she ends with some final, heartfelt advice.
“They’re children. Big stinky children who, given the choice, would spend all day texting. But children nonetheless.
“Tell them how proud you are, not just of their accomplishments, but of who they are as people. It will mean the world to them.
“Make them that thing they like, go for a walk and let them tell you about their friends and their weird little obsessions. Tell them stories from when you were their age.
“Remind them that they are fascinating and capable people who can achieve great things and who also need to apply deodorant daily. Every day. Forever. Please stress this.
“We love them too. Thank you for sharing them with us.”
The parents commenting on Maggie’s post were mostly emotional, like me, after being reminded of what great humans our teenagers are. Even if the this stage is a tough one for all.
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"I'm not crying, you are!"
“Beautiful post - I’m not crying, you are,” wrote one mum.
“So true! They are funny, and insightful, bright, quirky, sweet, silly, and mostly wonderful,” added another.
“Oh so beautiful and emotional and funny and true,” concluded an educator who has had a similar experience with teens.
“[I] Work in a high school and I see it time and time again, they deeply love their parents and so want to connect with them and make them proud.”
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