'I will always insist on going to my son's Father's Day breakfast'

"There was much pearl-clutching when they saw me. According to them, my son should simply miss out." #rebel

I once attended a school Father’s Day breakfast with my son and it was highly controversial.

There was much pearl-clutching amongst the mums when they found out. According to them, if my son and I were largely estranged from his dad, my son should simply miss out.

Lol – as if they would accept that for their own boys - because by that reasoning, it would mean him missing out on every father-son event.

And there's no way I would let that happen.

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"I asked permission first"

This was at a time when parents were ‘mum’ and ‘dad’ and occasionally, ‘caregiver’. So I actually went to the school to ask permission to take my kid, because it was a rogue act.

They were wonderful, respectful, but also confused. Perhaps I could ask a friend to take my seven-year-old. An uncle or granddad?

But it was much simpler to me than that: there was no father in our home and my son wanted me, as his only regular parent, at the breakfast. Were they really suggesting that my kid couldn’t attend unless an adult male took him?

Yes, we had wonderful family, but that wasn't the point. How my son saw things should matter more than anything.

To the school’s absolute credit, our reasonable discussion opened their eyes, and they allowed me to attend.

And guess what - precisely no dad I chatted to questioned why I was there. 

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Image: Nama Winston

RELATED:‘To every step mum who didn’t get Mother’s Day love, I see you’

Just in case you dont't get it

Firstly, us single mums are a fiercely independent group, and we don’t like asking anyone for anything. We certainly don’t want someone to be a substitute dad for an hour with our kid just because of the name of an event.

I do it all on my own, so I’ll have that f*ing free croissant, thanks very much. It's the least I deserve.

Secondly, Why. Could. I. Not. Just. Go? I was my son’s only parent at home, and to him, the event was about acknowledging roles - and I was both. I. Was. Everything.

Thirdly, I was a goddamn revolutionary at the time, and it makes me so happy that schools are now much more considerate of a child's feelings on these occasions.

Nama and her son. Image: supplied

Won’t somebody actually think of the children?

Of course, there will always be some who still think this perspective is too 'woke' and aren't comfortable with the concept of 'genderless parenting'.

Like the mums who gossiped about my attendance.

I recall at the time of my Father’s Day breakfast revolution, one mum snidely told me that if her surgeon-husband was working that morning, her son would have to miss out, too.

Yeah. Not the same, Suzy. Also, no one asked you.

And it’s not my fault if you wouldn’t be prepared to fight the establishment for your kid, and win. Like I did.

Originally published as 'I will always insist on going to my son's Father's Day breakfast'