I want to message the mum who didn't invite my kid to her son's party

"Even if they don’t like someone at this age, they either invite everyone or just a couple of kids, never leave out just one," the upset mum writes.

A mum has been faced with a dilemma over what to do after her son wasn't invited to a classmate's party. 

After taking to her local Melbourne Mums Facebook group, she was met with a range of opinions from other parents.

From confronting the birthday boy's mum to bringing the teacher into it, everyone was keen to give their two cents on this (sadly) all-too-common scenario. 

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"Should I reach out?"

Taking to the page, the anonymous mum wrote: "Hi, my son was the only boy in the class that wasn’t invited to another boy's birthday on the weekend.

"I think that even if they don’t like someone at this age, they either invite everyone or just a couple of kids, never leave out just one.

"Should I message the mum and ask why? Or leave it?" she concluded the post that now has over 50 likes and 100 comments.

Image: IStock / Facebook

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"They have every right to not invite who they want"

One mum played devil's advocate and said: "I wouldn't message and ask. It was their choice and they have every right to invite and not invite who they want. The answer won't help you or your son.

"I would be just trying to explain to your son that this was just not one of the parties he was invited to and that's totally okay. Maybe the next one."

Then another mum added, "Just leave it. Your son might not play with this boy and while I know it's upsetting; I'd probably just let it go as it's already been gone now."

The OP replied saying, "Yes he sits next to him and being a small class, they all play together."

Someone else then responded: "There’s obviously a reason as to why they didn’t invite him then."

"It's heartbreaking but also, why do children have to invite children they don't want to celebrate their birthdays with? Life is like that," concluded a different user. 

"I would ask the teacher"

Another team of people advocated for letting the teacher know about the situation.

"I would ask the teacher. They may be aware of any issues," one group member commented. "Mum of three here and I've had lots of party invite issues over the years. I had an issue once where my ADHD son forgot he was given an invite and thought he wasn't invited until the day of the party when the party child asked if he was coming.

"I've also had an issue of an invite being found in the school bag after the party had happened. There may be another explanation for the lack of invite. Plus many examples of my kids not being invited to parties where we thought they might have been."

Then a second wrote: "I also would speak to the teacher. If ALL the boys were invited except for your son that is not OK. We are teaching our children to be inclusive and inviting all but one is not being inclusive in any way.

"We need to teach them to be kind and empathetic. We as parents/teachers should be guiding our children and using these situations to teach them to do the right thing."

And a third added: "I agree with the teacher thing. Could it be a number/budget issue?"

It seems like no one in the comments suggested reaching out to the mum directly. 

Eventually, the OP replied to everyone saying, "Thanks, mums. I feel so sad for him and angry at the mum. I just can’t believe people are this way. I try to teach so much goodness to my son."

This story was updated in October 2023.

Originally published as I want to message the mum who didn't invite my kid to her son's party