I want to be a Disney princess mum - but I always sound like a villain

"I'm a mum of three boys and I often wonder: where did my kind voice go?"

I was in the library with my youngest the other day when I heard what sounded like a Disney Princess had come to life.

The kind of voice that would rouse a forest of animals to clean the house or make a dress out of rags. 

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"She had the voice of an angel"

She talked to her children about the books they wanted, and they responded in kind. She then read them a story. As she turned the pages, more and more children were drawn to her voice, as was I. It was so mesmerising and soothing. 

I asked myself, "Why can't I sound like that when I talk to my children?"

In my head, I'm a Disney Princess... but in reality, I'm the villainous stepmother who uses her magical spell to steal the protagonist's voice. 

(And yes, Little Mermaid was my favourite movie growing up.)

Jordana says she's not a Disney Princess Mum as often as she'd like to be. Image: supplied

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"Be calm. Be light. Be patient."

I wake up in the morning with the following mantra:

"Be calm. Be light. Be patient."

I mean that for both my demeanour and my voice. But somehow, when I open my mouth to speak, I turn into the dragon that's preventing the prince from getting to the top of the tower. My face is as red as fire. 

My Disney Princess voice is in there somewhere. It's just that dang dragon that surrounds her, so she doesn't come out when my children and husband are around. 

Now my husband has noticed it. He's always wondered who gets my light and flowery voice on the other end of the phone. 

"Why do I sound like a dragon?"

He asks, "Why don't you always speak like this?" 

Is it possible that I'm frustrated that you just asked me where your keys are when they are in your hands? 

Or is it the fact that I've been asking the kids to put on their shoes for a solid 20 minutes without acknowledgment? 

Maybe, just maybe, my physical and mental checklist never seems to get smaller.

How on Earth am I supposed to feel like a Princess when I'm drowning in a pile of laundry?

It doesn't help that my children, correction two-thirds of my children, address me with the attitude of either a disinterested side character or a Disney villain that has sucked another soul and gained strength from it. 

Fighting fire with fire is hardly the mature way to be. Nor is it any good for me when I am already starting my day at 10/10. 

The rescue mission starts now

I need to get back to my mantra. It's the only way to release the inner princess, who is currently locked in a tower, chained off by over-stimulation and mental load. 

Is the solution playing calming or Disney music on repeat? Therefore tricking my brain into feeling positive and happy?

I fear that the longer my princess's voice is silent, the harder she will be to rescue. Perhaps I almost need to force myself and pretend that my Disney voice is coming from within when, in reality, I'm putting on an Oscar-worthy performance. 

I think I just need to sleep for 100 years as Disney Princesses often do.

Originally published as I want to be a Disney princess mum - but I always sound like a villain