‘I missed the birth of our first daughter - my wife needs to get over it’

“That is just cruel,” someone said. “She is so very clearly not okay with it, and it is still bothering her to this day.”

In the weeks leading up to the birth of Henry* and *Demi’s first child, the couple were mapping out the best way to approach the next steps in their lives. 

Henry works in an intense job, which requires him to be away from his phone for hours at a time, usually in locations with no coverage. This means he’s disconnected from the world until he gets home. 

The job requires a “tonne of safety regulations” that he has to follow while at work, so checking his phone is the last thing on his mind. 

Want to join the family? Sign up to our Kidspot newsletter for more stories like this. 

Henry missed Demi giving birth to their daughter. Picture: iStock

“She had already given birth”

Taking to Reddit, Henry explained that in the lead-up to his wife’s labour, he “planned to take off work near her due date” so he could be there at the hospital. 

“Unfortunately, she went into labour early (about a month early), and I was on an inspection,” he recalled. 

RELATED: ‘My husband told a complete stranger about my traumatic birth behind my back’

“I only learned about her going into labour when I got signal again,” Henry continued. 

He tried to rush to the hospital to catch his wife’s birth, but by the time he arrived, it was too late. “She had already given birth,” he said. 

I’m terrified of seeing my partner give birth! Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts so you never miss an episode.  

Now, it is important to mention that Demi was not alone while she was in labour; her mother was by her side the entire time. 

Thankfully, the baby was born “pretty healthy” and only needed to stay in the hospital for an extra day before coming home. While Henry was disappointed that he issued the birth of his first child, a year-and-a-half later, the issue won’t get dropped. 

While Demi claims she was “fine” that he missed the birth, circumstances change once the couple starts to quarrel. Any time the couple have an argument, Henry is dragged under the bus by Demi.

“The issue is every single time we have an argument, she will bring up [that] I missed the birth,” he said. 

It doesn’t matter what the argument is about, from “serious arguments to what fast food we should get”; it always goes back to Henry missing the birth of his daughter. 

“Today was my breaking point,” he wrote. “We got into an argument about her wanting to change the daycare situation.”

Demi told her husband she wanted to stop taking their daughter to the daycare centre that she’s been attending for the last year. 

Every morning, Henry drops the baby off at the daycare centre, and Demi picks her up at the end of the day. Now, Demi wants to “change daycare to one closer to the home”. The issue is, “the only one closer to our home is too expensive, and we can not afford it”.

The couple were discussing the possibility of changing daycare when Demi threw her classic line into the mix. 

“In the middle of the argument, she pulled out I wasn’t there for the birth again,” Henry said.

“I told her she needs to get over that and stop using it in every f**king argument we have.” Naturally, Demi was furious at her husband’s curt response, calling him a “jerk” in response and walking away. 

RELATED: My husband died after I gave birth, then his secret came out

“It's on the kid for coming out a month early”

Opinions were mixed online, with some people claiming Demi was well within her rights to be upset with her husband, considering it was such a huge milestone for the family. 

“Oh man…Your wife may say that she is fine with you missing the birth, but she is 100 per cent lying,” a comment read. “She is so very clearly not okay with it, and it is still bothering her to this day.”

“[Birth is] scary and I'd hazard a guess a little traumatic too,” a woman wrote. “That doesn't mean she gets a free pass to throw it in your face at every disagreement. BUT if she's still hurting from it, don't expect it to go away with one conversation.”

“I suspect that she was stressed, scared, etc, that she couldn't reach you. It's scary to go into labour a month early,” a comment read. 

“You need to sit her down. Remind her that you two love each other, you are married, you have a child. You hate that you missed the birth of your baby, but it happened.” 

But not everyone was on Demi’s side. “You had made plans to be there, but due to your job, you had no way of knowing that the baby came early,” someone said. 

“While it’s understandable for her to have wished you could be there, she needs to accept that it’s not your fault, that there was nothing you could have done.” 

“It’s petty to keep bringing it up, especially when it has nothing to do with what you are talking/arguing about,” shared another. 

One comment read: “It's on the kid for coming out a month early.”

“That is just cruel,” a person wrote. “If she is going to be pissed, be pissed at the baby for ruining your plans. It makes as much sense to blame the baby as it does to blame you.” 

*Names have been changed

Originally published as ‘I missed the birth of our first daughter - my wife needs to get over it’