I lost my baby - now my partner won't acknowledge me on Mother's Day

The man has said, "She's not a real mum." Please note: This story contains sensitive topics.

Mother's Day is an emotional trigger for many people, especially those who've experienced pregnancy loss.

This is the case for one recently expectant mum, who feels strongly that her partner should celebrate her on the day, after losing the baby a month earlier.

He doesn't understand her perspective, and posts online: "My girlfriend mentioned that Mother's Day was coming up and asked if I had anything planned for her. I thought she was joking about our cat, but she insisted it was a serious request."

"She had a miscarriage about a month ago, and she's saying that technically counts as being a mum."

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"She's not a real mum"

"Money is tight for us, and I just finished paying off her birthday present (which I admittedly splurged on), but now she's demanding that I take her on another expensive date with a gift for Mother's Day."

The conversation ended in a fight with the poster saying, "She's not a real mum."

There was an overwhelming response to the dad's post, with nearly four thousand comments supporting his partner.

"She had a miscarriage a month ago and is trying to tell you she's struggling," the first commenter said. 

Another reader tried to explain it to him, writing: "I've had several miscarriages, and if my husband had ever been this dismissive, I'd be single now. If it's about finances, he should stick to that instead of being f*cking cruel. A month after?? Her hormones haven't even settled yet, and she's due for her first post-miscarriage period."

This person agreed, adding, "Losing a baby is so rough, no matter how or when it happens. Can I suggest a simple card and maybe a single flower and picnic if times are tough? Your girlfriend is still grieving her loss. It never goes away."

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"I always mention him"

Many others wanted to share that they celebrate being a mum to all of their children.

"Seven years ago, my SIL lost their 2nd baby, just as wanted as the first. She always says she has three kids. I always mention him on my New Year's card for them," one wrote. 

"I had a lifelong friend who often brings up 'her brother'. He was a miscarriage years before my friend was even born, so some families count the ones that don't make it," another shared. 

"We (me and cousins) acknowledge our childless aunts on Mother's Day, just because they might not have kids, but they did, and still do, help raise us. They always say they aren't parents, but in a way, they are," a third said. 

Finally, one reader told a similar story about what he does for his wife on Mother's Day: "Even though my wife and I never had children (three miscarriages and never pregnant again), we don't consider her a mother. That's how we deal with it, everyone is different. However, I do something nice for her every year on Mother's Day (just because)."

Originally published as I lost my baby - now my partner won't acknowledge me on Mother's Day