I lock my son's bedroom door when he has playdates; now friends won't come over

"We've been blacklisted," the mum shares, after being accused of teaching her kid to be "greedy." But she has her reasons.

If you've ever hosted a pre-schooler playdate, you might be able to relate to this mum.

In an online post, she's declared that she locks her son's bedroom door when he has friends over. This might seem to be beside the point of a playdate, but she states some very legitimate reasons for doing so.

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"I lock my son's bedroom door"

The mum explains that her situation is "pretty straightforward."

"I got a lock for my four-year-old's room. He's super in the collecting things. (He has autism).

"He has probably every single monster jam truck ever made, he has every single Marvel/DC/superhero action figure you could think of, and he's really into setting up these huge marble runs.

"Everything is organised and put away nicely and my son likes to keep it that way."

Fair enough - his room, his way with his toys. But not everyone sees it like this, she reports.

"The problem is that every time my best friends' kids or my nephew comes over, they b-line it to his room and trash everything. Literally from ripping off legs [of] the action figures, ripping off tires to his monster trucks and just trashing every single toy that they can get their hands on in general."

The woman's son is then very distressed. Her solution has been to lock the bedroom door, and ensure there are toys in other areas of the house. However, this makes the guests feel rejected and they complain these 'outside' toys are boring.

"My sister and best friend are both saying that I'm being too much and saying that they're just toys. But these toys are expensive... And after everyone's gone and the room is trashed and all his toys are broken and misplaced he's really upset over it."

The mum adds that now no one will come over because they think she's teaching her son to be "greedy."

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"Not everything has to be shared"

The reaction from other parents expresses confusion about the sister and best friend's attitudes.

"These kids don't respect ‘no’, and they don't respect your child's belongings," commented one, adding, "As you said, not everything has to be shared. And sharing doesn't mean ‘I get to do whatever I want to your stuff.’"

Another wrote, "You're not teaching your kid to be greedy or not share. You're teaching your kid that he has a right to his own space and to set proper boundaries with people who disrespect him or his space."

A third didn't hold back with their brutal response: "If your sister and ‘best’ friend can’t teach their brats to respect someone's things, then those play dates need to end NOW. They clearly have no respect for your child or his things, and those are things that are required for sharing."

In an update, the original poster said that she'd decided to put an end to playdates with the guests in question.

Originally published as I lock my son's bedroom door when he has playdates; now friends won't come over