I can't be fully responsible for your child's allergy at my kid's party

A mum was asked that there be "zero risk" of gluten and dairy allergens at her daughter's party. She refused.

Catering for birthday parties is becoming increasingly difficult; between the sugar police and allergies, what can you serve?

This is the question one mum has asked in an online parenting group, after receiving a challenging menu request.

For her daughter's upcoming birthday party, the mum had put a note out to the parents to ask if there were any allergies or dietary requirements for the party. 

"Had the usual list back - some Veggie, one no pork, one nut allergy, one gluten free+dairy allergy," she writes. 

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"No gluten or dairy served at all"

She explains that she was happy to accommodate and ensure that no child went hungry. However, she was taken aback when one mum asked that there be zero allergens to spare her supervising own child. 

"Sorry to be difficult, but we need there to be no gluten or dairy served at all - it's too dangerous for X as we can't guarantee he won't eat it. Sure you understand, thanks xx," the woman texted. 

The mum throwing the party became concerned, especially as the guests would be aged two to five, so she thought the parents would supervise their own kids.

"I'm making the cake and have no idea how (or have any desire to learn) to make a nice gluten free / dairy free option," she explained. 

" I was planning to buy little GF vegan cupcakes so that there is something there for the others. Am I being unreasonable that her request just doesn't work for us?"

Image: iStock

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Lots of mum supported her in the comments section.

"The parent cannot go through life expecting everyone to remove all diary/gluten products 'just in case'. Sadly, lots of people have allergies and they have to manage. You're providing options, that's perfectly adequate and nice of you to do," said one. 

"I have a child at risk of anaphylaxis and yet I’ve never asked anyone else to supervise my child's eating. I let people know not so they can provide alternatives," chimed in another. 

And this allergy-aware parent shared, "I'm sorry but no way would I ask the host to do that. My son is allergic to nuts. We either take safe food for my son to eat or the parents have made him up his own safe plate of food.

"It’s my responsibility as mum to protect my son and I would never ask the host of the party to do that."

"Bring your own food"

On the topic of supervising the child with allergies, which the requestor has said she couldn't do at all times, one mother advised, "Just remind her that you are happy to try your best to provide food for her but you are overseeing the whole party and will obviously be very busy, so you will be unable to take on the responsibility of watching her individually the whole time.

"As others have said, I think it safer for her to bring food for her dd and you are being very generous to do your best to provide things."

Finally, this mum said bluntly: "They are super entitled and cheeky to put this on you." 

Almost all comments sided with the party-mum, with many noting that while the parents of the child with allergies might be tired of constantly checking the food, it's not up to the host to do it. Rather, the parents should BYO food for their child for peace of mind, and they need to be there to supervise. 

Originally published as I can't be fully responsible for your child's allergy at my kid's party