‘I babysat a friend's kid, the next day I got a rude text message'

“I only wanted her to feel at home,” the mum said.

3 min read

June 19, 2024 - 8:32PM

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Looking after other people’s kids can present some questions. Especially when it is a new friend and their boundaries are less clear. Will screen time be allowed? Can I give them treats?

While most parents come to an agreement before the playdate is set, one mum was taken aback by her friend’s reaction to what she felt was a normal occurrence after she shared some cake with her little visitor.

The mum posted on a popular parenting forum about the terse exchange of words and asked for feedback.

“Last week I looked after a friend's child for an afternoon as she was going somewhere where she couldn’t bring her along,” the mum wrote.

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Image: iStock

"She asked if I could try some of mine"

“I offered. No problem there.

“She was given a packed lunch when her mum dropped her off. I said there was no need but her mum just said, 'oh no, honestly, it's fine'.

The mum assumed the little girl was a fussy eater and without any further instructions from the mum, she didn't question it and just let the girl have her packed lunch while they ate their lunch alongside her.

“She had finished what she had [in the lunchbox] and asked if she could try what I was eating.

“I said no problem, of course. And gave her a plate. I said eat what you like and don't worry about leaving what you don't. She ate it all.

“And for all of us afterwards, I had a cake. It was a red velvet cake from Costco. It is really yum and a nice treat. She had a slice and then another slice because she enjoyed it.”

All’s well that ends well, right? Well the next day the mum got a “harshly worded” text message from her pal to critique her babysitting efforts.

“[the message read] 'Hi, Y said you gave her additional food after her lunch which was provided. In addition to this, she had gorged on a lot of cake too? Please in future can you stick to what I provide'.

“Am I being unreasonable to think what's the big issue? Have I overstepped some mark I didn't know about?”

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"It's mean spirited"

The mum later added to her post to confirm that they had only met a few times before so she “wanted her to feel at home”.

She added that as an “allergy mum” herself she would have thought her friend would tell her if there were any issues, but she did not and the girl did not mention it either.

“I don't see how I can tell a guest, child or not, that they can't have more food? It seems rude and mean spirited.”

"That's harsh"

The comments mostly agreed with the original poster who felt the mum who had her little girl lovingly cared for by the busy mum was the unreasonable one.

“Jeez, that's harsh,” said one Mumsnet user.

“I don't see any problem with what you did. Clearly she was hungry. And unless she is on a special diet then I think her mum is being unreasonable.”

“It would be cruel to have a treat and not allow her any,” added another.

"Her reaction is really rude"

“You did nothing wrong and if she wanted ‘no treats’ she needed to specify that,” said a third.

“And her reaction is really rude.”

One poster gave a suggested response for the next time the critical mum asks for some help with babysitting.

“I'd be texting back, 'I think in future you would be better to ask someone else to do you a favour and look after your child. That way neither of us will be feeling resentful towards the other'.”