‘I always wanted two kids, but now I’m one and done, and life is good’

A mum post about all the reasons NOT to have more than one child has divided the internet.

Years ago (almost 13) when I was a new mum, I remember reading a line about siblings Robin Barker’s book, Baby Love.

My copy has long since been passed along so I don’t have the exact quote, but she said the reason parents might choose to have a second child has nothing to do with the first child.

Often parents say they want to give their child a sibling to grow up with, so they won’t be lonely, so they’ll have a life-long mate.

But Barker says the first child doesn’t want a sibling.

They don’t want to share the family resources – their parents’ attention, time, patience, not to mention their toys – with another baby.

Choosing to have a second child is about the parents.

A mum who always wanted two, faced with a future as the parent-of-one has taken to popular parenting forum Mumsnet asking others to weigh in on why one is better than two.

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Mums of only children shared the benefits of having just one child. Photo: iStock

Mum feeling down about just having one child

“I always wanted to have at least, so they each had a sibling,” she posted.

“Sadly separated from my partner when my son was one. He’s two and a half now.

“No new relationship on the horizon and I’m 38 so it’s possible it’s already too late.”

The mum was facing a future she hadn’t planned for and felt down.

“Has anyone truly made peace with just one child, or can anyone share the pluses of having just one?” she asked the community.

Parents with one child flooded the comments. Some were in her same situation, parents-of-one not by choice, while others loved having just one child.

“I am one and done (not through choice) and yes there was a phase when I mourned not having another child, but honestly as my son gets older I really enjoy having one child,” one mum said.

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“Our time and attention is not stretched, there’s less financial strain and generally it’s easier to keep on top of things,” she continued.

“I have one child and am very happy with that decision,” said another mum. “I can afford things I couldn’t after with more than one and I don’t have to deal with sibling squabbles.”

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Parents with multiple children also weighed in.

“You get your time back with one,” one mum said. “We have two and while our eldest is starting to get independent and give me an hour or so off, our second is relentless and it’ll be a long time before I get some time on my own. Everything is also cheaper, you can have a smaller house, smaller car, cheaper holidays, you can provide for your child better covering uni fees and with inheritance.”

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“I have five children and feel so jealous of parents with an only-child,” said another mum. “It looks so lovely and calm and not overwhelming like my life.”

Originally published as ‘I always wanted two kids, but now I’m one and done, and life is good’