From Brighton to Footscray, what your suburb’s coat of arms should look like
SOME Melbourne municipalities have their own coats of arms, but they’re not really with the times. From Flemington’s yellow sparkling wine to Chadstone’s designer brands, here are a few which more accurately reflect modern Melbourne.
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HERALDRY, a tradition dating back centuries, is a formalised and complex allocation of coats of arms to families and places.
Some areas of Melbourne have their own coat of arms, many drawn more than a century ago.
But they’re not really with the times.
Here are some suggestions for some new designs that better reflect modern Melbourne.
WHY MELBOURNE BEATS VIENNA ANY DAY
THE WATERFRONT WAR THAT CHANGED OUR WORKPLACES
BRIGHTON
A leisure yacht above face filler, a luxury car brand and a beach box that cost more than a house in the outer suburbs.
Supported by twin golden retrievers whose combined vet bills total more than the GDP of some small Pacific countries.
CARLTON
Italian food, coffee and organised crime immortalised by popular culture below a disused promotional Vespa.
Marc Murphy and Mick Gatto are supporters.
CHADSTONE
Irresponsible credit card expenditure above a whole bunch of designer brands, many of whose clothes are made in southeast Asia.
Supported by skinny people.
DOCKLANDS
Marvel branding, mini golf and Airbnb below a Melbourne Star wheel pod that sometimes turns.
Supported by two stoic bachelor filing cabinets.
FLEMINGTON
Yellow sparkling wine, hangover remedy and betting slip as a crest.
Supported by a horse, a drunk man supporting a drunk woman and topped with another drunk simulating a sexual act on a Pringle container.
FOOTSCRAY
A busy PSO and bulldog as supporters.
Confiscated knives, illegal fireworks and Franco Cozzo, below the West Gate Bridge.
RICHMOND
The Dimmy’s tower above Dusty, discarded syringes and gelato.
Supporters are a tiger and a spaced-out local.
SPRING ST
Peter Marshall and a lobster are supporters to a red shirt, Sky News and a white elephant, symbolising state government project management tradition.
Like many Melbourne suburbs, sky rail is above.
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