The rise of the new AFL power couple
The AFL is back. And if North Melbourne star Ben Brown and wife Hester have anything to do with it, the league won’t just be kicking off a new season but a whole new era.
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The icons and images at the heart of a culture can tell us a lot about its values. Historically, Aussie rules was a sport steeped in the traditional markers of masculinity.
But recent years have seen not only the rise of AFLW, but of the socially conscious footballer: players who, despite being burdened with the weight of history and expectation, are viewing their platform as a stage not to be squandered.
Among the growing list of players harnessing the power of their profile and leading the charge for an evolution of the code’s male-centred reputation is North Melbourne forward and gender equality activist Ben Brown.
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There is a warmth and gentle magnetism to Brown, whose 200cm frame, crop of auburn curls and kicking ability have catapulted the native Tasmanian to cult-like status.
As we wrap Weekend’s photo shoot, Brown scoops up his bag before remembering that half an hour earlier, a road worker nearby had asked for a photo with him. Despite already running late for an appointment, he tracks down the Kangaroos fan and snaps a selfie with him.
Just a few moments in Brown’s company is enough to realise that being an AFL star is perhaps the least remarkable thing about him.
A visible expression of achievement and success, pro footballers are placed on ever-rising pedestals, shouldering the responsibility of being role models from the moment their boots touch the hallowed turf.
But Brown believes a player’s social reach makes them agents to drive significant social change. “It’s up to us in a lot of ways,” the Roo says.
“We’ve got a platform and, I think, rightly or wrongly, kids look up to us as role models and are going to look at our behaviours and take that into their own adult lives.
“We’ve got to ensure that we’re considerate of our actions, because being a role model is part of the job we are in.”
Brown and wife Hester, both 26, have been integral in implementing a gender-equality strategy at North Melbourne — the first sporting club in Australia to assign a taskforce to tackle the issue.
“Since joining the club six years ago, we now have women involved in GPS analysis, physiotherapy and nutrition, and there are so many benefits to having more women involved in the football community,” Brown says.
“You can get a bit of a one-track mind in terms of your understanding and get to thinking that other people have the same life experiences as you.
“Having women in different roles broadens that, and I think that’s a big one for the playing group when you consider that the guys who come into our footy club are all in that 18-32 age bracket.
“For the vast majority, they are young guys who are coming straight out of school into a very masculine environment. Their personalities and experiences in life are still being moulded.”
Hester, a registered marriage celebrant and equality activist, is also adamant that the AFL can no longer afford to put gender politics on the bench.
“What we know is that diversity in workplaces make them stronger,” she says.
“At North Melbourne, we’ve been working on a whole range of measures within the business structure, such as paternity and maternity leave policies, career pathways and female leadership so we can have more female board members (Julie Laycock, head of marketing at 7-Eleven, is already on the board),” Hester says.
The couple, who met five years ago at a mutual friend’s birthday and became parents to Daughter Aila just 10 weeks ago, are also involved in The Huddle — the community arm of North Melbourne, which works primarily with refugee, migrant and new-arrival Australians offering a range of programs including school tutoring and job seeking.
In December, the couple also signed on as ambassadors of Our Watch, a not-for-profit organisation dedicated to preventing violence against women by driving nationwide change
in behaviours and attitudes.
“While I haven’t had direct experience with domestic violence, it’s a really important issue for us to nut out as a society,” Brown says.
“When you delve into the issue and how many women it affects in Australia, it’s hard
not to get involved.”
Brown believes all men have a responsibility to challenge the “locker room” behaviour of crude banter and sexist jokes at the expense of women.
“A big part of Our Watch’s latest campaign, Doing Nothing Does Harm, is about reframing what ‘doing something’ might look like,” he explains. “When you hear a disrespectful comment or something degrading towards women, or someone puts down their partner in front of their mates or that locker room banter, I think it’s important that we don’t just brush off these kinds of interaction.
“But also, sometimes aggressively intervening and calling out their behaviour in the moment isn’t the best action, so it’s about having other tactful techniques and tools to combat the negativity that you’re hearing.
“Something as simple as not laughing along can send a message that, ‘Hey, what you said isn’t OK’, and that can have a ripple effect among your friendship group if others also don’t like what they hear but don’t know what to do. They can see that you aren’t laughing.”
Hester adds: “And if there are women present when the comments are made, perhaps check in with them. Ask them how they feel after that interaction or if there is anything you can do to support them better next time.”
Our Watch CEO Patty Kinnersly says the Browns are excellent ambassadors, chosen for their strong sense of social justice.
“Ben and Hester have continued to speak out about gender inequality and discrimination … and will further strengthen our ability to engage the community about the role we all play in preventing violence against women,” she says.
Unlike many AFL players, Brown didn’t come to the club straight from high school. Overlooked in three national drafts and three rookie drafts while playing Aussie rules in Tasmania, Brown continued to study and graduated from university with a degree in journalism before navigating his path to AFL stardom.
While the current system allows those skilled enough to eventually pursue their sporting dreams, for those like Brown whose hearts and minds harbour multiple curiosities and passions, striking the elusive balance between on and off-field commitments can be challenging.
“I’d definitely advocate for other players to come into the league at a later stage,” Brown says emphatically.
“I think if the draft age was lifted, it would be a positive thing for athletes’ mental health and for their job security after football.
“Football lasts until you are 32 if you have a really good career. When you come straight into that from high school, you’re lacking that worldly experience you’re going to need when you come out the other end.”
Brown says it’s easy to assume that footballers are solely consumed by the fame of the game.
“We can tend to put people into really rigid boxes,” he says. “It’s about trying to unpack why that is, and when we start to think about it, you go, it’s just spilt over from bygone eras and we need to start questioning and rejecting it because it isn’t helpful.”
Hester agrees that there is a misconception that footballers are a one-dimensional bunch.
“There’s this strange assumption that footballers live frozen under Marvel Stadium and then pop up for the game. But they have lives, families, experiences and they have feelings, too,” she says.
Brown, the eldest of six brothers, credits his family and his wife for his fervour for equality and inclusion.
“My mum and dad were big influences in making sure we cared about others and it definitely developed more meeting Hester,” he says. “I think we helped each other develop our activism style, and what we both care about as a couple. I think we make a strong team.”
Hester says: “Ben’s upbringing with five brothers meant he had always lived in a very masculine-dominated household.
“I remember when we started talking about women’s experiences, they were very new to him to hear.”
Brown agrees: “Yeah, I needed to do a lot of listening. And I like to think that’s one of my good qualities: that I try to listen and try to act on what I’m hearing and not be too judgmental of other people’s experiences.”
Hester believes that part of tackling gender equality in football also means challenging the perceptions of the partners of players.
While the term WAG has become a popular acronym used to refer to the wives and girlfriends of athletes, Hester argues that the appellation reinforces the belief that women are just appendages to men.
“He is my husband as much as I’m his wife,” she says.
“When Ben started playing, I used to get social media comments saying, ‘You’re not hot enough to date a footballer’.
“I hope that AFLW continues to have a really positive effect on how women are viewed in football and that this evolution of the role of women will help to change people’s assumptions of the partners of players, too.”
Brown is somewhat uncomfortable about the ever-increasing glare on their work away from the heat of competition. And while the pair are articulate and eloquent, they are far from pretentious. Their genuine integrity never comes off as a charm offensive. True to Brown’s style of sportsmanship, the time spent discussing their own values and goals is matched, unprompted, by admiration for fellow players whose own nobilities are transcending the game.
“Eddie Betts, Sabrina Frederick-Traub, Darcy Vescio — they’re all doing amazing things, too. We can learn so much from so many other players,” Hester says.
As LGBTIQ allies, the pair are also hopeful that a cultural shift will see further diversity throughout the game.
“Absolutely, I think we will just keep on progressing,” Brown says. “We know, even with gender equality, it’s a long game, not a short game, but we just have to try and play our role and fast-track it as much as we can, because it means a lot to a lot of people, and it doesn’t take much for people to be more accepting.”
Hester says she can understand why the league is yet to see its first openly gay player, despite the women’s league showcasing tolerance and diversity among its players and fan base from its inception.
“I can understand why people wouldn’t want to come out, because why can’t people just play football and be who they are?” she argues.
“We often expect people in minorities to bear the brunt of their own emotional labour. If one player comes out, should he have to stand up for every single LGBTIQ person when he doesn’t feel like he represents everyone? The culture probably has a little way to go yet.”
On the eve of his 100th game, Brown says he’s looking forward to kicking off a new season, but that it feels different going back to the game as a father.
“Our routine has changed out of sight,” he laughs.
“But I’m really excited about involving (Aila) in my career. It makes it even more exciting knowing that North Melbourne have a women’s team now.”
Hester beams:
“If she wants to follow in her father’s footsteps, that’s available to her now. And we hope that all young women start to see that there are jobs for them in football, and that they can aspire to be anything.”
NORTH MELBOURNE’S ROUND ONE CLASH IS AGAINST FREMANTLE SUNDAY AT 3.20PM AT OPTUS STADIUM. AFL.COM.AU
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