The thing about being a sex writer is that you’re constantly speaking to the country’s best experts and being inspired to try new things. 

So when interviewing a sexologist last month on how to invite a third person into the bedroom, I couldn’t help but take her tips to heart. 

I just didn’t think that I would end up with a fourth, fifth and sixth body in the bed. 

Chasing fantasies

Inspired to chase my own threesome fantasy, I’d logged back onto Feeld – essentially an app for curious minds looking for non-traditional hook-ups. 

Which is how I found myself on a first date at a sex club with someone I’d never met before. 

Nerve racking? Absolutely. Hot? As f*ck. 

After meeting Noah for a cocktail (and instantly getting along thank God), we drove across town and entered the unmarked door of Our Secret Spot, a hidden swingers club in Sydney. 

I’d been once before, but more as a voyeur, standing back to watch the wild scenes unfolding in front of me, and having my own fun with a friend in private. 

This time though, I was there for the club’s Newbie Night. And to no surprise to anyone, it was a sold-out event.

The rise of sex positivity 

“I think since Covid and the acceptance of new genders and pretty much the involvement that the community has got with being sex positive, it has 100 per cent increased the desire for couples and singles to just talk about swinging and alternative lifestyles and to come explore sexualities,” Jess, the owner of Our Secret Spot, later tells me over the phone. 

“I find there are a lot of people now identifying as ethically non-monogamous or being open, and just exploring the concept of having multiple play partners, multiple primary partners and just multiple partners in general – but doing that in such a safe and welcoming environment.” 

Jess and her business partner Lawrenece opened the club 10 years ago as a “more female friendly, female safe and very sex positive space”. 

“There were already other swingers clubs around however we felt there was a bit of that luxury, a bit of that comfort and that safety level missing in all of those venues,” the 31-year-old explains.  

And so Our Secret Spot was born. Then Newbie Night came around six years ago as a way of introducing customers to the community. 

“With our Newbie Night, we run a talk at the beginning just to give you a brief understanding of what to expect inside the club,” Jess says.

It covers consent, safety, safe words, how to approach people who’d like to play with, and the importance of checking in with yourself.

“So making sure couples or singles understand how to do appropriate check-ins with themselves or with their partners [during the event], and also teaching them to recap the night with their partner because it’s a good way for them to keep that communication line strong,” says Jess, adding that staff are also around to help people out and guide them in any way that they need.

Unleashing ourselves

With my mind reeling from the introductory talk, my date and I joined the tour of the three-story venue. 

While it wasn’t either of our first rodeos, the walk around gave us a great vantage point to survey the crowd and make some introductions ourselves. 

By the time we’d all returned to the middle level – a BYO bar with a ruby red pool table and no sex policy – we’d made our top picks. And while Noah led the conversation from a couch with two couples, I flirted with a cue stick in hand, leaning far over the table to take my shot. 

With the nerves easing, and Prosecco flowing, I was well on my way to losing the game when the group swept me upstairs. It was time to get undressed, they hinted.

Fueled with excitement, I let Noah unzip me, revealing black lace lingerie with thigh high stockings and a garter belt. 

We were the first to unleash ourselves and the tension in the air was palpable from those around us. 

Moving from the lockers on the third level to the dungeon below, I tottered down in my black patent heels,  more turned on than I’d even been in my life.

Underground, shy couples lined the room amid benches and wooden apparatuses built for BDSM, while whips, cuffs and floggers glistened from behind glass cabinets only accessible by staff members with a key.

And then while someone, anyone, waited for the party to get started, Noah kissed me and asked me to get onto my knees. Then another girl joined in, and it became a tantalising mix of lips and limbs.

Not long after, a woman’s boyfriend asked if she could go down on me, and I led them to the couch for my first girl-on-girl moment. 

It was electrifying. 

Back to Noah, it didn’t take me long to finish (in spectacular fashion, I might add). It was a show not to be missed as our spectators watched on in anticipation. 

But the grand finale was a private affair. 

Bringing out your confidence 

According to Jess, there are plenty of benefits to visiting a sex club, including increasing communication in your partnership. 

But it’s the changes in yourself that are truly life-changing. 

“It helps you have a healthy outlook on just general things in life,” she tells me over the phone. 

“I found it helps bring out new ways to approach new situations. I found it has brought out confidence in people. And it has brought out our understanding of people’s wants and needs. Just basic human needs in life.” 

Which is exactly why I found myself climbing the staircase back up to level three at Our Secret Spot with Noah, stopping at the enormous open shower to wash off before making our way down the hallway to one of the bedrooms. 

Closing the door behind us, we fell onto the sheets, side by side with our new friends – two other couples who couldn’t wait to play. 

It was a sea of bodies and condoms in a double bed as we partnered up with strangers, exploring foreign sensations before swapping with each other. 

With one man on top of me, I kissed the girl to my left, tracing my fingers across her nipples as I watched Noah take another woman standing up. 

A mirror running down the length of one wall reflected back to me the action as it unfolded, bringing to life all my fantasies and more.