‘Grieving the loss’: New mum Dami Im’s intense sacrifice

Eurovision and X-Factor singer Dami Im candidly reveals the intense struggles of her ‘mental, emotional and physical’ transition from pop star to new mum.

At home with Dami Im and family, Husband Noah and their son Harry who is 12 months old. Photography; Russell Shakespeare

If home were a musical instrument, Dami Im’s would be a grand piano.

When she and her husband Noah moved into their tri-level Brisbane home, the Eurovision singer and X-Factor star decked it in shades of black, white and warm timber.

But over the last year, the house has become noticeably more colourful.

The addition of baby Harrison (Harry) in May last year saw the 33-year-old songstress “collide” into motherhood while juggling the demanding schedule of a performer.

Home life would never be the same.

“Looking back it was a really intense change of everything in my life,” Im says.

“It was such a tough transition mentally, emotionally and physically.”

Like most young parents, the pair had to quickly adapt their lives to fit the needs and schedule of a new baby.

Piano time. Photography; Russell Shakespeare

In many ways, style was swapped for practicality – and of course, safety.

“We had to get rid of the glass table,” she says.

“We never used to like carpeted floors so when we moved here we changed a lot of them to wood and tiles.

“(Now) we’re glad there’s some carpet left in the house.”

ROUTINE, ROUTINE, ROUTINE

“Everything is a lot more disciplined now,” Im says.

“We do all the things we can do around Harry’s schedule.”

This includes the busy life of a performer.

“I waste no time at all,” she says.

“When he goes to sleep around 7pm, that’s when I get to work.”

The pre-baby decision to set up a soundproof studio downstairs turned out to be a genius move – as did the purchase of a rocking chair.

“That was something I thought we needed to purchase years ago,” she says with a laugh.

“We had it for a while but no one really sat in it. That’s where I sat and rocked him to sleep.”

Play time. Photography; Russell Shakespeare

THE GRAND PIANO

Now that Harry is one, he spends most of his day running from room to room – but one of his favourite places to explore is Im’s grand piano – the first thing you see when you walk through the front door.

“It’s a piano that I have had since I was in high school. My parents got it for me because, at the time, we all thought I was going to become a concert pianist,” she says.

“I write my songs on it and it’s been part of my musical journey – I grew up with it. It’s nice to now have Harry play on it.

“Harry likes to play it with his feet.”

He likes all the classics – Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, The Wheels on the Bus – and Im also plays her own songs to him.

“But he likes to shut the lid on me while I’m playing them,” she laughs.

“That’s his favourite thing to do when I play, shut the lid on me.”

COLOUR AND CHAOS

The neutral tones in Im’s home turned out to be the perfect backdrop for the colourful chaos of Harry’s toys – something she and Noah have rolled with since his arrival turned their world upside down.

“His stuff has taken over every area of the house,” she admits.

Måns Zelmerlöw and Dami Im at 2020 Eurovision – Australia Decides. Picture: Supplied

While the aesthetic of the home is all about softness and calm, Im knew colour was an essential ingredient for Harry’s sensory development and joy.

“Some people have beige toys – but I don’t think you can really do that because that’s boring for kids,” she says.

But there was one item she purposely bought in keeping with the original style of the home. “I got a wooden playpen.”

IN BETWEEN

Something Im grappled with in the early days of parenthood was the abrupt change of identity and what this would mean for her artistic career.

While female performers are often branded sex symbols, they are rarely thought of as mothers.

“I just felt like people were going to treat me differently and wouldn’t want me anymore for who I was – a performer, a songwriter,” she says.

“Like people would say, ‘you’re just a mum now’.

“Now I understand it’s not like that. There’s something so beautiful and worthy of all the sacrifices and changes you have to make to adapt. (It’s) something you do out of so much love and joy.”

Dami Im at her Brisbane home. Photography; Russell Shakespeare

The transition inspired her to work on In Between, an EP set for release on July 7.

Her latest single Collide was the turning point of this journey into motherhood.

“I realised I needed to collide with the new chapter of my life,” she says.

“Grieving the loss and also accepting the new inevitable season.”

MORE: ‘False dawn’ warning on home values amid new PropTrack prices reveal

HOMECOMING

Perhaps the biggest change Im’s home has gone through is the role it plays in her life.

“Sometimes I used to not enjoy coming home after travelling,” she says.

“When you’re out working and performing, there’s all this adrenaline and excitement but then you come home and it’s so still and dull, and you don’t know what to do with yourself.

“Now I really have something to look forward to.

“It’s good to have something really meaningful and so worth my time and my life at home as well as my work outside.”

Dami Im performs on X-Factor.

DAMI IM’S HIT (AND MISS) BABY BUYS

Dami Im’s Hit (and miss) baby buys

Best Buys

■ Bugaboo Fox 3 (Green)

We used to just put him in the pram and rock him, and he would calm down a lot. We can also fit a lot of groceries at the bottom.

■ Wheely Bug – Bee

We got it as a present from Harry’s godparents and Harry loves it. It helped him learn to walk and it’s got these antennas. It also helps that it looks good in the house.

■ Peter Rabbit soft toy

Harry’s favourite soft toy. He likes to cuddle and bite it.

■ Sun soft toy

We used to hang it by his crib when he was younger. Now he likes to cuddle it to sleep and bite it – he likes to bite everything.

Worlds ‘collide’. Photography; Russell Shakespeare

■ Plastic golf set (ordered online)

Noah is obsessed with golf. Harry loves swinging it around and hitting the balls. He is like Dad’s unfulfilled dreams coming true.

■ Fisher Price Kick N’ Play Piano Gym

We got this from my cousin in Korea second-hand. Harry has loved it since he was a newborn and still loves it now.

■ Baby Einstein Neptune’s Ocean Discovery Jumper

He has used this since he was four-months-old and still loves it now.

Try before you buy

■ Jump harness

He used it twice. Now I don’t even know where it is. He didn’t love it and I didn’t love hanging him off the door – I didn’t know what to do with it.

■ Baby carriers

They just ended up being too hard to put on and get the baby in. I know people swear by them but I didn’t use them as much as I thought I would.

Originally published as ‘Grieving the loss’: New mum Dami Im’s intense sacrifice