Secrets of the Lawn Porn masters

TENS of thousands of Australians spend hours each week perfecting their patch of grass. And then they spend even more hours online admiring their work.

THEY used to be a man’s most closely guarded secrets — until now.

The key to growing the lawn of your dreams is right here. And, according to Queensland’s Len Lawler, it’s as easy as 1, 2 … green.

Lawler started the Australian Lawn Fanatics and is part of the proud social media phenomenon that is Lawn Porn — the not-so-secret club that allows passionate punters to show off their greenest grass to the world, instead of just Darryl from across the street.

With hundreds of thousands of online groupies, Lawn Porn and Lawn Fanatic fan pages have developed a cult-like following, with passionate enthusiasts sharing their proudest patches, tips about all things mowing and, of course, admiring their handiwork.

According to Lawler, the generations-old secrets of a lawn master are secret no more.

“Greenkeepers and stadium curators were always closely guarded with their secrets but the fanatics have changed that because we have a lot of them on our page — we just wanted to help each other out,” he says.

Lawn Porn’s members work together to share tips on how to get the best patch of grass. Picture: Craig Gosney/Lawn Porn

“It was an idea with a couple of mates to get a group of guys together to discuss lawn problems, and a way of networking with each other.

“We’ve got 16,000 members now and I’m shocked every day at its popularity.”

And their secrets, he says, are pretty easy.

“You can’t grow grass in really hard soil,” Lawler explains.

“You need to aerate your dirt, you need to feed your lawn at the right times and with the right stuff — we believe in slower release fertilisers, so season-long fertiliser rather than water release fertiliser.

“Remove weeds and identify disease or lawn grubs that may come in — it’s that easy.”

He says perfecting your patch of grass is like a badge of honour, showing just how houseproud a lawn lover can be.

Lenny Lawler had a pretty good lawn in his last house

Lenny’s working hard to get the right foundations for a beautiful lawn in his new place.

“Your lawn is the first thing you see — when you drive down the street you can see the nice green grass before you even see the house.”

Artarmon father-of-two and Lawn Porn co-founder Mark Held says the key to good lawn is to love it all year round, not just scramble for success when summer hits.

“If you mow consistently through the year, water deep and infrequently and just chip away at it, that will rejuvenate the lawn and you have a much better chance of your grass surviving if there are harsh conditions,” he says.

“The number one thing to do is to aerate your lawn — you can hire machines which punch holes in your lawn so air, water and oxygen can get in and bring your lawn to life — you can get great results if you do it once or twice a year.”

So how often should a lawn lover tend to their patch?

Well, Held says that depends on rainfall, your type of grass and other environmental factors — but in summer, aim for a mow once a week.

“Some people also tend to overfertilise, because they do not see instant results. I’d suggest trying smaller amounts of fertiliser at the right times of the year as opposed to hammering it too much in one go — and always water in the morning.

“It’s definitely better to water the grass for a solid hour or more, once a week in the morning than doing it three times for 15 minutes — that way the water can get to the deepest part of the roots, where it’s really needed.”

He says that being passionate about one’s lawn was once considered more of a “middle-aged sport”, but the diversity and passion of Lawn Porn followers — men and women of all ages — showed that a healthy garden was something everyone was happy to be proud of.

Another lawn lover is South Australian Matt Daum, who also started a Lawn Porn page last year and clocked up over 22,000 fans in its first month. His page is now at 42,000 and climbing.

“Lawn Porn is about having the best lawn possible with the time your lifestyle allows,” he says.

Or you could just admire someone else’s lawn work while on holidays. Picture: Karl Mayoh

“It’s easier than you think to do.

“With some basic principles you can have a great lawn and we also teach you to enjoy that slab of the green stuff — we like to call it the Lawn Porn lifestyle.”

His tip for a lawn that will leave your neighbours green with envy?

Aim for progress, not perfection.

“Our lives are so busy. Not everyone has the time and lawning doesn’t have to be a secret science for the horticultural snob,” Daum says.

“But my single easiest tip is to mow your lawn regularly and don’t mow any more than a third of the height at a time.”

Ben Squire has had a 24-year love affair with his lawn, and is grateful to the community that shares his passion.

“I spend about three hours a week on it in summer, and the secret to a fresh yard is the edging — it makes a huge difference and helps frame your masterpiece,” the 40-year-old Seaforth man says.

“I always say, you need to get the basics right — mow high, fertilise in winter and top-dress in spring.”

And their take home message? Keep mowing, lawn lovers. It’s a jungle out there.

Originally published as Secrets of the Lawn Porn masters